7 Things You Need to Give Up if You Want to Succeed
…at pretty much anything.
In one of my latest lifestyle posts, I shared one of my favorite Dalai Lama quotes with you guys: “Judge your success by what you had to give up, in order to get it.” Today, I’ll talk about a few of those things that I’ve learned to give up. The easiest way to introduce some new, fun and exciting things into your life, is to first make some room by getting rid of old, limiting habits.
SAYING “I CAN’T”
Few years ago I read a book I’m sure many of you have heard of before: Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich. There was one piece of advice that really stuck with me, so I wrote it down on a piece of paper and look at it almost every single day:
Guard your speech. Never speak of yourself, your affairs, or of anything else in a discouraged or discouraging way. Never admit the possibility of failure, or speak in a way that infers failure as a possibility.
Ever since then, I try my best to not use phrases like: “I can’t.” Whenever I talk about something that I plan to accomplish, I don’t say “if” I say “when.” When we think (or say) “I can’t” a lot us think that it means “I won’t.” It can also imply that you’re not willing to do what it takes to get things done (whatever those “things” are). This also creates a possibility of failure in your mind. It might not seem like a big deal, but that’s where a lot of that negative self-talk comes from. If you keep saying “I can’t” over and over again, you’ll slowly start to discourage yourself. And that, can suck that power and drive out of you.
Whenever I hear someone talk about their plans for the future, whether it be career, family, hobby- I always get excited. I’m a big dreamer myself and love seeing other people go after their dreams. BUT, when I hear someone close say things like “I really want to [blank] but I probably never will, anyway” or “I’d love to try [blank] one day, but I doubt I’ll ever get to” I cringe (and I used to say those things all the time). How can I believe in you and your dreams, when you sound like you don’t even believe in them yourself?
The difference between who you are and who you want to be, is what you do. Pretty simple isn’t it? Except that it’s not. It doesn’t really matter what it is that you’re after: a new career, buying a house, losing weight, learning a new skill, getting healthy- “life” will always get in the way, somehow. It’s up to you to take a little responsibility for your actions. Don’t put things off until last minute. Don’t say “I don’t feel like doing this now, I’ll do it later” or “I work better under pressure” (do you really? or do you just like telling yourself that?). We all procrastinate– some do it to a greater degree than others. Good news is, you can slowly train yourself to stop procrastinating. I know, easier said than done. But it’s always easier said than done. …..until it’s done.
This goes back to what I talked about above when I told you to stop saying “I can’t.” Don’t complain. Don’t waste your time talking about things that have or possibly could go wrong. Instead of thinking of all those things that you’ll need to give up in order to reach your goals, think about how good you’ll feel once you get there. All those things that you keep telling yourself over and over again, will eventually become your beliefs. Limiting thoughts do not serve you.
COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS
No one’s life is perfect. When it comes to things like social media, we only see what others want us to see. Just like we only show off the best parts… of our lives. I could start telling you that each of us is on a unique journey… blah blah blah. But I want to try to change your approach (attitude?) a little.
Let’s say you’re single. You’ve been single for a while and you crave love and affection. You notice a happy couple holding hands standing next to you. What do you feel? Jealousy? Are you sad? Angry? From now on, whenever you see someone drive your dream car, or have a successful career in the field you’re trying to get into- get excited. Whenever this happens to me, I like to think that it’s the Universe whispering to me “here, have a little taste of what’s coming your way.” When you see people who’ve accomplished things you hope to accomplish one day, be happy. This only means that it can be done.
RE-LIVING YOUR PAST
Yesterday is gone. Your future starts now. Some things can be hard to let go of. Maybe you have some regrets in life- I used to think I have a lot of them. I’ve made bad decisions in the past, I know what it’s like to not have your shit together. To feel lost and confused. Guess what though? Everything that I went through taught me something. There are some things that you can’t learn by taking a class or reading a book. It doesn’t matter if you’re 20, 30, 40 or 50 years old- it’s never too late to go after your dreams.
I know someone who completely turned their life around at 50. Lost A LOT of weight, got into fitness, found a new, loving partner. If he were to think “well.. I’m 50, I should have done all of this a lot sooner, when I was younger, it’s too late now, why did I wait so long?” he’d never be the person he is today.
I already discussed reasons for ditching your perfectionism in this post. Point is, you can’t wait for that perfect moment, because you’ll end up waiting your entire life. That moment does not exist. Go and do the things you want to do. Start with what you have now. Don’t avoid rejection, learn to surrender.
FEAR OF FAILURE
One of the most important things you need to give up if you want to succeed, is fear of failure. You can’t succeed without failure. Anyone who’s ever accomplished anything, failed at some point. I could sit here and tell you about all of these succesful people who got what they wanted after being told “NO” hundreds of times. Instead, I’ll tell you this: you will fail. At some point, you will fail. So there, since you already know that you probably will fail, what’s left to be afraid of? You fail, you get up and you try again. It doesn’t matter if your failure is as small as skipping a workout or as big as your business falling apart. As long as you keep trying and don’t walk away, you’ll never be a failure.
Whatever it is that you’re after, know that I believe in you. I know, that you are meant to have an amazing life.
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