Be Present: How to Practice Mindfulness Every Day

how-to-be-present

I’m here right now, but I can’t wait to be some place else. Whether you realize it or not, that right there, is something you tell yourself all the time.

Truth is, being in the present moment isn’t always fun.

You’re washing the dishes, but you’re thinking about other things you still need to get done. You’re thinking about finally going to bed, maybe watching a movie, finishing that book you’re reading or doing some window shopping online.

Why?

Because washing dishes isn’t fun. There are other, fun places and things you’d rather be doing right now.

The thing is, there are so many other “fun” things to look forward to, that this present moment, whether you’re stuck in traffic, doing laundry or lying on the couch, just doesn’t seem worthy enough to have your undivided attention. So, you reach for your phone, your laptop, or you get lost in thoughts of your future or past.

You have all these thoughts “attacking” you- sort of like a radio that’s playing just a bit too loud for you to concentrate.

See, there’s this amazing thing that happens when you start being kind to this present moment- you become happier. And it’s been scientifically proven. We spend over 45% of our time, thinking about something other than what we’re doing.

So, if you’re not careful, life can pass you by, while you’re wishing to be “some place else”.

IT ALL STARTS IN THE KITCHEN

As many of you know, I lost my grandmother right before Christmas. I was, and still remain, devastated by my loss. It wasn’t until I lost her though that I’ve realized, that she was everything I strive to be in this life.

As I’m continuing this journey of self-growth, exploration and slow-living, I realize that it’s exactly how she lived her life; long before mindfulness became such a buzzword.

And it all started in the kitchen.

I loved waking up in my grandparents’ house, the house I practically grew up in. My grandma would always rise early- minutes before her alarm clock went off. I’d go downstairs and walk into that tiny kitchen filled, already with the smell of freshly brewed coffee, radio silently buzzing in the background, sun rising and shining through the window. We’d sit by the table, drink coffee and look out the window. It was my favorite thing in the world. It was something so simple, but brought me the kind of joy that can’t be replaced- and it was all because no matter how busy or tired or grumpy I was, in that moment, in that kitchen, with her, I was always present.

I loved taking long walks to the grocery store with her, holding her arm. You know, just walking, enjoying the fresh air and chatting away. We’d then come home, unpack the groceries and… spend more time in the kitchen.

I think that kitchen has always been my favorite place to be and it’s also a great place to practice being present.

To my mind, the idea that doing dishes is unpleasant can occur only when you aren’t doing them (… ) I enjoy taking my time with each dish, being fully aware of the dish, the water, and each movement of my hands.  I know that if I hurry in order to eat dessert sooner, the time of washing dishes will be unpleasant and not worth living.  That would be a pity, for each minute, each second of life is a miracle” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh 

Washing dishes, can be one of them- and it’s all about being aware of your sensory perceptions. Instead of rushing through washing the dishes, wishing you were doing something else, be present. Feel how warm the water feels on your skin, smell the dish-soap, notice your hand movements.

When you brew your morning coffee, enjoy the process- the smell, that comforting, funny noise your coffee maker makes. Those simple, every day tasks are a great place to start practicing being present. When you do this, all of the sudden everything becomes more enjoyable.

MINDFULNESS BELLS

Using mindfulness bells is also one of my favorite and simple ways to practice being present. Your bells can be pretty much anything; it can be a certain color you notice, a number, a sound, a stop light. Using these as a mindfulness tool will remind you to come back to the present moment.

I have a few: a sparkling light- like when the sun hits the key chain that hangs on my rearview mirror, or a certain sound or number. If I walk around the office, or my house, and happen to hit my elbow on something, or when I accidentally drop my keys- I use that as a reminder, too. Whenever I hear, see or feel those “mindfulness bells” I stop and think “what am I doing right now, right this moment? Where are my thoughts wandering?”

Pick a mindfulness bell (or two, or three) and use them to bring yourself to a present moment, whenever you feel, hear or see them. It’s a simple way to train yourself to ask “what am I doing right now? Am I paying attention?”

FOCUS

Focus on your breathing, on what’s right in front of you, on your inner body, your senses, on the sounds and colors around you. When you spend time with your friends or family, put your phone down. Pay attention. Trying to have a conversation with or spending time with someone who is constantly reaching for their phone, is annoying (to say the least). You wouldn’t want someone else ignore you or not pay attention to what you’re trying to say.

We are so easily distracted these days, and a lot of times when we’re with our loved ones, we aren’t actually there. Physically, yes, but our minds are often distracted, already thinking what to say next, or worrying about something completely unrelated. When you talk to someone, listen to their voice, focus on their words, notice their smile- then, rather than just meeting or seeing someone, you’ll actually connect with them.

and practice

SINGLE-TASKING

I mention multitasking quite a lot and it’s probably because it’s something I, myself, still struggle with. I know that if I focus on one thing at a time, I’ll do a better job and get it done faster. When I try to split my focus between several different things, that focus can lose some of its power and my work isn’t as efficient.

When you eat, do nothing else but eat. Whatever you’re doing- playing, working, washing the dishes, drinking tea- do your best to focus on one thing at a time. If you also struggle with multitasking, check out this article on Zen Habits.

As soon as you honor the present moment, all unhappiness and struggle dissolve, and life begins to flow with joy and ease. When you act out the present-moment awareness, whatever you do becomes imbued with a sense of quality, care, and love—even the most simple action.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

The only way for being in the present to become natural, is to practice. Being present isn’t always easy to do and it might feel a bit unnatural at first- especially if the concept of “slow living” is completely unfamiliar to you. This is why you need to practice it. Using tools like “mindfulness bells” is a good way to start. Practice it when doing simple things like washing the dishes or folding laundry. When you start paying attention to these things, without thinking about your next task or chore, they become more enjoyable. You can find pleasure even in those very simple things; like sitting in the kitchen, next to someone you love, early in the morning, drinking coffee.

Being mindful every single day, isn’t easy. being present every single moment, isn’t easy (not quite sure if it’s even possible). Even as little as 5 or 10 minutes of being completely aware, making the most of the moment and not wishing to be somewhere else, can change your day.

There is something magical about being present- when your mind is free of judgement in every single moment, every single thought. When you don’t worry about the future or stress about the past.

If you think about it, all you ever have is now. Now, is the only time that’s important.

  • My kids taught me mindfulness again. It is impossible to multitask when they are around, they almost physically pull you back into the present. And the need to set specific time frames for other things like blog work helped me to focus on one task at a time. And when we are out at the playground, I can focus on the sun, the wind and the birds, especially since I started leaving my phone in my pocket. Helps a lot to be present.

    Linda, Libra, Loca: Beauty, Baby and Backpacking

    • I love that Anne! Children can definitely be great teachers- there’s so much we can learn from them, especially when it comes to things like finding joy in simple things.

  • I love the idea of a mindness bell! That’s so clever. What a beautiful post :)

    http://www.luxandvitae.com

  • Lisa Autumn

    LOVED LOVED LOVED this.. girl your writing is amazing :) I always forget everything around me when I read your posts!

    xx Lisa | lisaautumn.com

  • Another good pick is the Motivation Manifesto by Brendon Burchard. It’s truly a wonderful guide to channeling your energy into being present. And you’re right, the only way for it to become natural is to practice. It’s a process, one I’m still in, but I’m learning to love the journey. Lovely discussion!

    Zauni / SIRENBLACK

  • Chloe

    I loved reading this, it was really thought provoking and opened my mind up a lot. I’m interested in mindfulness but really don’t give it the time and attention that it deserves so, I really like the idea of mindfulness bells. I’d never heard of them before until reading this and I feel like it’s going to be a small but helpful way to start practicing it so thank you :)

    Chloe @ https://girllgonerogue.blogspot.co.uk/

  • Biana Perez

    I am so guilty of not being mindful in life’s little moments. You are truly such a great inspiration and a wealth of knowledge!! xo, Biana BlovedBoston

  • this made me tear up! thank you for sharing & reminding us!
    http://www.liliantahmasian.com

  • Kiri Yanchenko

    I often have to remind myself to avoid multi-tasking.
    Sometimes it is ok – when you are having a pedicure it is a great time to email – because you are not actually doing the pedicure. However most of the time it is better to focus on one task.
    Kiri
    Set to Glow
    http://www.settoglow.com.au

    • I think this is especially important when I do actual work- especially since at the office I’m often easily distracted.

  • I am a daydreamer so I am constantly thinking about other things. I can sit there for hours and just drift off and be happy. Upon realising this, I have started to make an effort to really be in the moment. Putting my phone down and paying attention to people around me when I am out, concentrating on my work and not getting distracted by little things. It is definitely difficult and a lot easier said than done, but as you said, it is all about practice so hopefully this will become a habit for me soon as opposed to something that I have to work on.

    Also, I am sorry to hear about your grandmother. My grandmother died in February this year and it is something that I was quite numb to at the start but is slowly hitting me more and more as time passes. Remembering the little things, like spending time with your grandmother in the kitchen in the mornings, is something that will help keep a smile on your face during these sad times. I hope it does help you at times. :)

    Emily | http://emilytrinh.com

    • It does all come down to practice, thankfully it’s not something that’s too difficult to work on- as long as you remember to bring yourself back to the present moment. :)

      I’m so sorry for your loss Emily, hope you’re finding some peace. I have good days and worse days, as I’m sure you know. Remembering all the good times definitely helps, but I can’t help and wish we had more time together. Sending my love your way!

  • I do a 30 minute meditation every day and it really has helped with my depression and anxiety. Being mindful in throughout the day can really help with a lot of issue.

    Sorry for your loss x

    cait / cait rammy

  • I am so bad at being present. 90% of my time I spend thinking about what will happen in next five minutes, always on a plan or a deadline. Eh :)

  • Natalie Redman

    Great post! I’m so sorry about your grandmother <3

    http://www.upyourvlog.com

  • BLB

    I’m really trying to be present. Mindfulness bells are such a good idea, I need to try them.