Girl talk

7 Things You Need to Give Up if You Want to Succeed

7 Things You Need to Give

7 Things You Need to Give

7 Things You Need to Give Up if You Want to Succeed

…at pretty much anything.

In one of my latest lifestyle posts, I shared one of my favorite Dalai Lama quotes with you guys: “Judge your success by what you had to give up, in order to get it.” Today, I’ll talk about a few of those things that I’ve learned to give up. The easiest way to introduce some new, fun and exciting things to your life, is to first make some room by getting rid of old, limiting habits.


A few years ago I read a book I’m sure many of you have heard of before: Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich. There was one piece of advice that really stuck with me, so I wrote it down on a piece of paper and look at it almost every single day:

Guard your speech. Never speak of yourself, your affairs, or of anything else in a discouraged or discouraging way. Never admit the possibility of failure, or speak in a way that infers failure as a possibility.

Ever since then, I try my best to not use phrases like: “I can’t.” Whenever I talk about something that I plan to accomplish, I don’t say “if” I say “when.” When we think (or say) “I can’t” a lot of us think that it means “I won’t.” It can also imply that you’re not willing to do what it takes to get things done (whatever those “things” are). This also creates a possibility of failure in your mind. It might not seem like a big deal, but that’s where a lot of that negative self-talk comes from. If you keep saying “I can’t” over and over again, you’ll slowly start to discourage yourself. And that,  can suck that power and drive out of you.

Whenever I hear someone talk about their plans for the future, whether it be career, family, hobby- I always get excited. I’m a big dreamer myself and love seeing other people go after their dreams. BUT, when I hear someone close say things like “I really want to [blank] but I probably never will, anyway” or “I’d love to try [blank] one day, but I doubt I’ll ever get to” I cringe (and I used to say those things all the time). How can I believe in you and your dreams, when you sound like you don’t even believe in them yourself?


The difference between who you are and who you want to be is what you do. Pretty simple, isn’t it? Except that it’s not. It doesn’t really matter what it is that you’re after: a new career, buying a house, losing weight, learning a new skill, getting healthy- “life” will always get in the way, somehow. It’s up to you to take a little responsibility for your actions. Don’t put things off until last minute. Don’t say “I don’t feel like doing this now, I’ll do it later” or “I work better under pressure” (do you really? or do you just like telling yourself that?). We all procrastinate– some do it to a greater degree than others. Good news is, you can slowly train yourself to stop procrastinating. I know, easier said than done. But it’s always easier said than done. …..until it’s done.


This goes back to what I talked about above when I told you to stop saying “I can’t.” Don’t complain. Don’t waste your time talking about things that have or possibly could go wrong. Instead of thinking of all those things that you’ll need to give up in order to reach your goals, think about how good you’ll feel once you get there. All those things that you keep telling yourself over and over again, will eventually become your beliefs. Limiting thoughts do not serve you.


No one’s life is perfect. When it comes to things like social media, we only see what others want us to see. Just like we only show off the best parts… of our lives. I could start telling you that each of us is on a unique journey… blah blah blah. But I want to try to change your approach (attitude?) a little.

Let’s say you’re single. You’ve been single for a while and you crave love and affection. You notice a happy couple holding hands standing next to you. What do you feel? Jealousy? Are you sad? Angry? From now on, whenever you see someone drive your dream car, or have a successful career in the field you’re trying to get into- get excited. Whenever this happens to me, I like to think that it’s the Universe whispering to me “here, have a little taste of what’s coming your way.” When you see people who’ve accomplished things you hope to accomplish one day, be happy. This only means that it can be done.


Yesterday is gone. Your future starts now. Some things can be hard to let go of. Maybe you have some regrets in life- I used to think I have a lot of them. I’ve made bad decisions in the past, I know what it’s like to not have your shit together. To feel lost and confused. Guess what though? Everything that I went through taught me something. There are some things that you can’t learn by taking a class or reading a book. It doesn’t matter if you’re 20, 30, 40 or 50 years old- it’s never too late to go after your dreams.

I know someone who completely turned their life around at 50. Lost A LOT of weight, got into fitness, found a new, loving partner. If he were to think “well… I’m 50, I should have done all of this a lot sooner, when I was younger, it’s too late now, why did I wait so long?” he would never be the person he is today.


I already discussed the reasons for ditching your perfectionism in this post. Point is, you can’t wait for that perfect moment, because you’ll end up waiting your entire life. That moment does not exist. Go and do the things you want to do. Start with what you have now. Don’t avoid rejection, learn to surrender.


One of the most important things you need to give up if you want to succeed is fear of failure. You can’t succeed without failure. Anyone who’s ever accomplished anything failed at some point. I could sit here and tell you about all of these successful people who got what they wanted after being told “NO” hundreds of times. Instead, I’ll tell you this: you will fail. At some point, you will fail. So there, since you already know that you probably will fail, what’s left to be afraid of? You fail, you get up and you try again. It doesn’t matter if your failure is as small as skipping a workout or as big as your business falling apart. As long as you keep trying and don’t walk away, you’ll never be a failure.

Whatever it is that you’re after, believe in yourself. I know, that you are meant to have an amazing life.

7 Things You Need to Give Up if You Want to Succeed

If you enjoyed this, you might also like these:

These Are The 3 Things You Need to Reach Your Goals

Ditch Your Desire to Be Perfect

How to Stop Procrastinating, Right Now


  • Reply
    Dagmara Klich
    August 4, 2016 at 6:07 pm

    I say that all the time but I really love your lifestyle posts, Paula! They’re always so inspiring! You’re inspiring!

    I love that: ‘Don’t avoid rejection, learn to surrender.’ xx

    Mummy’s Beauty Corner

    • Reply
      Paula @
      August 4, 2016 at 6:32 pm

      Thank you so much Dagmara, it means so much to me, you have no idea! Thank for always being so kind and supportive! <3

  • Reply
    Breanna Marie
    August 4, 2016 at 7:53 pm

    Comparing Myself to Others is my big one! Thanks for hitting the nail on the head!

  • Reply
    August 4, 2016 at 8:41 pm

    I love the way you explain the section about comparing yourself to others. Very well said! I just read a book that had the quote “insecurity competes, confidence empowers” and it really resonated with me. I think it has a very similar idea to what you are saying. I think the way that your described how we should react with excitement instead in jealousy/anger is so perfect! Thanks for the great tips. :)

  • Reply
    Gitana Deneff
    August 4, 2016 at 8:51 pm

    The last three though. Thank you for this. Very motivational and hopefully I’ll get my butt moving out of bed faster now! I should write these down or design them on my phone and make it a wallpaper! :)

    Gitana | Books & Bellinis | Instagram

  • Reply
    August 4, 2016 at 11:57 pm

    You are so right about all these things!
    I think fear of failure has been an obstacle of mine. For example, I long feared starting a blog but now I am so glad I did :)
    Thank you for such an inspirational post & blog of course :)

    • Reply
      Paula @
      August 8, 2016 at 5:07 pm

      I know the feeling Marianne! Almost every single good and exciting thing that happened in my life, happened after I got over my fear of failure. :)

  • Reply
    Laura @laurantaina
    August 4, 2016 at 11:57 pm

    I have so much to improve in all of these aspects.. especially being perfect and comparing myself. This post really touched me on a personal level. Just what I needed for to keep on going and pursue my goals! Thank you!

    xx Laura from Laurantaina Beauty Blog

  • Reply
    Caked To The Nines
    August 5, 2016 at 12:25 am

    This post describes everything I do hahaha. I agree though that this negative mentality really takes a toll and it’s all about being positive. I’m working on it ;P

    Nida | Caked To The Nines

  • Reply
    August 5, 2016 at 12:29 am

    Perfect advice. Thanks, as always!

    Jane x

  • Reply
    Sheridan Grady
    August 5, 2016 at 3:53 am

    Such good advice!! Great post, comparing myself to others and procrastinating are definitely up there for me x

  • Reply
    Aleksandra // bunniesaremagic
    August 5, 2016 at 4:00 am

    I found that overall being happy about other people’s success makes me work harder than being envious. Envy is such a life destroyer, really.

    • Reply
      Paula @
      August 8, 2016 at 5:15 pm

      Yes it is! It can literally suck the joy out of you. And the more you start feeling jealous of someone, the more things you start thinking you lack.

  • Reply
    Lauren Victoria
    August 5, 2016 at 4:25 am

    This was so helpful and you’ve shared some amazing advice! Most of these stand in the way of me going after what I want, which is pretty sad and annoying really. I’m definitely going to work harder at changing that. You’ve inspired me to do so xx

    Lauren |

  • Reply
    Emma Engmark
    August 5, 2016 at 5:34 am

    Really great tips – even though not all are that easy to follow, hehe.
    Lovely post.

  • Reply
    Kelsey Rose
    August 5, 2016 at 5:38 am

    This post is just what I needed to read! :)

    Kelsey x

  • Reply
    Laura Mareno
    August 5, 2016 at 6:39 am

    This post came at the right time! I think the most difficult for me is the last one! But I’m trying and I will give up on it! great post! kisses:D

  • Reply
    August 5, 2016 at 7:05 am

    Very very true!

  • Reply
    hanan abdi
    August 5, 2016 at 7:47 am

    I needed to hear this, thank you so much for this post :p xx

  • Reply
    Mili Velikova
    August 5, 2016 at 8:28 am

    Such an insightful post, Paula! I always love your Girl Talk posts and even featured you in my July favorites because you inspire me :)

    The Pink Traveller

  • Reply
    August 5, 2016 at 9:06 am

    I am such a perfectionist – it can be massively debilitating in getting complex tasks done in a timely manner, checking and then double-checking everything!

    Great post with some handy pointers.

    – Lubna | The Digital Review

  • Reply
    August 5, 2016 at 9:28 am

    I needed this. Thank you so much.

  • Reply
    Nicky - Curious Journeying
    August 5, 2016 at 10:09 am

    I remember a therapist saying to me that she and her colleagues absolutely hated the word ‘but’ because it discounts all of the positive things you said before that. I’ve tried to cut it out of my vocabulary since hearing that and your point on ‘Saying “I Can’t”‘ just brought that all back for me.
    I definitely need to continue working on letting go off my perfectionism as well!
    This is a wonderful, thought-provoking post which I am going to save and come back to :).

    Nicky xx |

    • Reply
      Paula @
      August 8, 2016 at 5:12 pm

      That is so true! Definitely makes sense! I’ll have to pay attention to my use of “buts” from now on :) Thank you so much Nicky!

  • Reply
    August 5, 2016 at 12:22 pm

    I think I need to take heed of just about every point you’ve made – especially letting go of perfectionism, I’m probably the worst you’ll ever meet and it’s ruining my life. I’m really getting into your lifestyle posts, they’re really inspiring


    • Reply
      Paula @
      August 8, 2016 at 5:11 pm

      Oh I’ve been there and done that Jennifer, so I know how it feels. Good news is, you recognize the patters that affect your life- it took me years of being in denial before I realized that. Thank you so much for visiting!

  • Reply
    Kelly Stanton
    August 5, 2016 at 1:23 pm

    What a great post! I totally agree and think its one that a lot of people should read!
    Point 1 – ‘I can’t – is the best lesson I learnt about positive thinking and it really does work! Fabulous hun xxx

  • Reply
    August 5, 2016 at 2:47 pm

    Hey Paula, this is absolutely worth reading! I have been reading the book ‘Think and Grow Rich’ lately and am really inspired with every word of it. I often try to incorporate such things in my life and its great to see someone sharing such positive thoughts. Thank you for sharing!:)

  • Reply
    Dany Queen
    August 5, 2016 at 6:52 pm

    Love this advice, it’s super helpful! Thanks love!
    xx Dany | The Queens Empire

  • Reply
    Jacqui Park
    August 6, 2016 at 1:55 am

    Hi Paula
    I’m lying in bed reading your post and it has really lifting my spirits for the day ahead, what an inspiring post.

  • Reply
    Kiss & Make-up
    August 6, 2016 at 3:54 am

    Yeah, negative thinking will get you nowhere.

  • Reply
    Taste of France
    August 6, 2016 at 7:38 am

    Also: doing the unimportant things before the top priorities. Look up “stones, pebbles and sand” or “rocks and sand” for the visual about time management. The priorities are the rocks. If you do them first, you can slip in the pebbles and sand around them. But if you fill a jar with the sand and pebbles first, the bigger stones won’t fit.

  • Reply
    August 6, 2016 at 8:54 am

    I agree with all of these!


  • Reply
    August 6, 2016 at 9:09 am

    Thank you for your inspiration. As you say you never to old to start feeling young again.
    I am at the stage in my life,and I am going to start my life exploring the world and places and meet people like you who are so supportive. You a god blessed human being.
    Thank you so much you kind soul. God Bless!!!

    • Reply
      Paula @
      August 8, 2016 at 5:05 pm

      You’re very welcome Rosh, thank you so much for visiting and leaving such a kind comment! Hope that your life is filled with a ton of love and excitement!

  • Reply
    Odessa @ Odessa Darling
    August 6, 2016 at 11:20 am

    Really good advice! I’m guilty of a few of these but reading this makes me want to get my bad habits in check :)

  • Reply
    August 6, 2016 at 11:21 am

    Wow girl! So wise and optimistic!! Loved it! Thanks for sharing!!!! <3

  • Reply
    C. Lee McKenzie
    August 6, 2016 at 11:42 am

    Even when you know all of this, it’s good to be reminded. Well done.

  • Reply
    August 6, 2016 at 12:06 pm

    Thank you for these fabulous tips. I recently turned 50 and am going through some big changes in my life, a divorce, a older mom with still young kids and looking at what I have done with my life and what I want to do with the rest of it. Some days I am so lost as to how to proceed and some days I am gung ho and nothing can stop me. A few of these hit a nerve, procrastination, and perfection. Two things I need to get around. Thanks

    • Reply
      Paula @
      August 8, 2016 at 5:03 pm

      You’re very welcome Sheri! Change can be a really good thing, I think. Like a fresh start :) I think we all have those days when we feel very motivated and driven, and others when we don’t feel like we can do much. It’s okay to take a little break for yourself sometimes. Wishing you best of luck with everything!

  • Reply
    August 6, 2016 at 1:59 pm

    Hey Paula, I loved Think and Grow Rich. Such a great book and reminder that we’re each in control of our own destiny! It was something I really struggled with, until someone told me about a simple, step-by-step method for designing the life I wanted (posted about it here: This post is a good reminder that our minds can be either our biggest obstacle or greatest asset!

  • Reply
    Leanne Cresswell
    August 6, 2016 at 4:01 pm

    Absolutely love this post! You have made some valid points here and it is so easy for a negative mindset to take over and get in the way!

    Leanne x |

  • Reply
    Emma Bought What
    August 6, 2016 at 5:09 pm

    These are great tips, thanks for sharing! x

  • Reply
    August 6, 2016 at 5:38 pm

    Blessings for amazing and inspiring people like you! Thank you!

  • Reply
    Joanna Joy
    August 7, 2016 at 3:51 am

    This post is awesome Paula. We should read this at least once a week:)

  • Reply
    Marta Sierra Marti
    August 7, 2016 at 5:17 am

    Really great advice!! Love all the tips, thank you!


  • Reply
    Ariadna Morell
    August 7, 2016 at 8:25 am

    Fear of failure is my biggest issue, I believe in the ‘you never know until you try’ but at the same time I’m always so scared to fail! It’s something I really need to work on. x

    Ariadna || RAWR BOWS

  • Reply
    August 7, 2016 at 10:00 am

    Thank you for sharing this. You’re such a positive person – reading your posts is always a pleasure.

    I think you’ve made great points here – I can especially relate to procrastinating. This is something most people struggle with, but I don’t like when someone calls themselves a “procrastinator”, reffering to it as it was a part of their character, something they’ve been born with. In the last months I had to be a lot more focused and organised in my life because of college graduation + family complications that happened at the same time and I learned that I can do a lot more in one day than I thought when I have no choice. The truth is people like to live comfortably and it’s always more convenient to say “I procrastinate, I can’t help it” than to get to work. And I also used to say that I work better under pressure, until I decided to be honest with myself and thought about a few situations when doing things at the last moment brought me a lot of trouble.

    • Reply
      Paula @
      August 8, 2016 at 4:59 pm

      Thank you Joanna! I think procrastination is a big problem to a lot of us. Sure, we love being comfortable, which is why so many of us settle, instead of fighting for and working for a life we truly want. Thank you for visiting!

  • Reply
    August 7, 2016 at 11:10 am

    Absolutely loved this post. Just a nice readable length also. :)
    I think we’re all guilty of being negative-nellies and sadly, the world around us doesn’t help.. but i think the point, as you said, is basically taking control of your life and not letting your life control you. It is what you make it. My past, even up until quite recently is full of poor decisions and awful circumstances, and I let it affect my now until recently when I realised I can let the past define my present or future. Its because of it I am where I am, and I’ve made some good decisions along the way that I don’t want to loose. :)
    Saving this post for a re-read. :)


    • Reply
      Paula @
      August 8, 2016 at 4:57 pm

      Letting go of the past and forgiving yourself and others, can feel SO good! Thank you so much for reading Caroline, I’m very happy you loved this post!

  • Reply
    Alison Bane
    August 7, 2016 at 11:12 am

    Right on, Paula. Thank you so much for putting some positive waves into the Universe.

  • Reply
    Rea Alducente
    August 7, 2016 at 11:54 am

    I agree. At some point in life, we are bound to fail. But that’s not the end all be all. The good thing is we fail and then pick ourselves up and rise again. ;)

  • Reply
    August 7, 2016 at 12:57 pm

    I loved this post! All these points are habits we can’t help but think/do, but they’ll only get us nowhere!

    Mel x

  • Reply
    August 7, 2016 at 8:28 pm

    Such great tips! I am also try to stop saying “I’m Sorry”!

    xx Kelly
    Sparkles and Shoes

  • Reply
    AudaciousYou Nikki
    August 8, 2016 at 12:01 am

    Thank you thank you, I really do appreciate being reminded of all the things I know but fail to put into practice sometimes because the unconscious mind reigns supreme, while higher consciousness has a brief holiday. Your writing is so to the point yet loving and gentle. I am grateful for your work as always.

  • Reply
    Katie S.
    August 8, 2016 at 8:24 am

    I LOVE all of these!! Positive self talk is so important. Thank you for sharing these!

  • Reply
    Tess Felber
    August 8, 2016 at 1:32 pm

    This post is amazing! I suffer from procrastination sometimes and it needs to stop! Thank you so much for sharing this, truly inspiring!
    xox Tess | Sequins are the New Black

  • Reply
    Daisy Renoj
    August 8, 2016 at 2:10 pm

    loved reading this post! Very encouraging and motivating!

  • Reply
    Stephanie Hartley
    August 8, 2016 at 5:05 pm

    I was so ready to get angry with this post, like I don’t need to give things up to be successful! But now I have to totally agree – I am SO bad at procrastinating and I need to majorly cut back on that and my negative self talK!

    Steph –

  • Reply
    Paula @
    August 8, 2016 at 5:15 pm

    Thanks Helene!

  • Reply
    The Gossip Darling
    August 8, 2016 at 10:31 pm

    OMG! Such a good post! I am ALWAYS comparing myself to others and it holds me back. Ugh. I need to just get on with it!

    Mel |

  • Reply
    Abigail Lori-Ann
    August 10, 2016 at 7:01 am

    I need to save this post and come back to it whenever I’m feeling low. Everythign You’ve said hit the nail on the head. The thing is we have these feelings without meaning too.

  • Reply
    August 11, 2016 at 11:12 am

    This is a good reminder post. I’ve been feeling bummer lately about a missed opportunity. The negative self-talk comes and goes, but I’m trying my best to still feel good about all that I’ve accomplished, even if I didn’t get an opportunity that I wanted badly. So, thank you, for this reminder.

  • Reply
    August 12, 2016 at 3:07 am

    You’re pretty much right about what you say. Yet, I believe that knowing who you are and in what you’re talented is also important. It’s not the way to believe that you can do anything, but to know what you’re really good at. Otherwise, it might make you unhappy when you can’t achieve the success. Nevertheless, it doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try new things. We should and we must see if it’s suitable for us.
    Nazlıgül | on my own way
    Latest POST: Hair Care for This Summer: Biopoint Beauty Elixir
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  • Reply
    August 14, 2016 at 2:27 pm

    Fab tips … comparing yourself to others has to be the hardest but one of the most important. Focus on your own journey <3

    Mel x

  • Reply
    Chic Every Week
    August 16, 2016 at 7:14 am

    Today I received a newsletter from Bloglovin, and this article immediately called my attention! The timing was perfect, I really need to read this today! It´s very well written in a simple but very direct way! Thank for the slap in face ;)

  • Reply
    August 17, 2016 at 12:00 pm

    I love this ahah ! x

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