Girl talk

What happened + what’s going on

Well, hello there, friends! Long time no talk!

I don’t think I’ve ever gone so long without writing in my 7 years of blogging.

As regular TT readers know, I’ve been through a lot over the last two years or so, both physically and emotionally, and needed to disconnect from everything for a bit. I spent the last two weeks traveling through my home country of Poland with my husband.

To be quite honest, I had weeks of content ready to be scheduled to be published, but there were days when I couldn’t even bring myself to open up my laptop, and just decided to take a break, also from the Internets. I felt this huge need to completely clear my head.

It was the first time I’ve visited since losing my Granny and I knew that the trip would be emotionally exhausting.

During the last two weeks, I’ve cried more than I have in the last two years. But not all tears were tears of sorrow.

There were tears of happiness.

There were times I laughed so hard my stomach hurt- and I can’t remember the last time I’ve felt that way.

There was a lot of fear, a lot of surprises, lessons learned, a lot of breathtaking moments, but mostly I think I’ve found a lot of peace. It’s almost as if I finally got to see just how important some things are in our lives, and how irrelevant and unimportant are others.

I don’t often talk about what it’s like to have two places you get to call “home,” both being in two different parts of the world. It’s hard. One of the toughest things is always saying goodbye. Saying goodbye to my grandparents was always most difficult, and now that my Granny is gone, saying goodbye to my granddad was even more difficult. I loved being able to cook for him, help him put his socks on, or give him a haircut.

We spent a lot of nights talking about his life, our family history which I got to learn even more about. Whenever he talked about my Granny he’d call her “My Beautiful Flower” and I’d smile through tears.

Being able to revisit all the places I remember from my childhood is always a bittersweet experience. The fields where my cousin and I used to run around are now occupied by a beautiful restaurant where we now sat, her with her husband and their little boy, my husband and I, having dinner, drinking beer and laughing at every memory that came to mind.

I also got to witness my youngest cousin take his very first steps and was so glad I got to see him before the “new baby smell” wore off completely. His older brother, my godson, will turn 10 later this year and whenever I look at him, I wonder where has the time gone? Their mom and I grew up together and even though she’s my “aunt” we’re really more like sisters.

Mark and I did a ton of driving- we pretty much drove through half the country, had a lot of great talks, witnessed some amazing views and met so many great people.

In a way, I feel like I’ve been gone for months. I never go so long without working, and I was seriously worried that my dog wouldn’t recognize me once we got back home. Being disconnected from the digital world wasn’t as difficult as I thought it’d be. I spent a lot of nights meditating outside, and I found a lot of peace and clarity- both of which I craved so badly. I came back full of new energy and ideas.

So that’s what I’ve been up to for the last couple of weeks- running from the Internets and searching for peace. I’m back now and regular posting will resume this week.

Love you. Mean it.


  • Reply
    Aleksandra // bunniesaremagic
    June 5, 2018 at 4:28 pm

    So glad I noticed this post down my Twitter feed!
    My last few months were also very much… away from the world, but few days ago I checked your IG and was even wondering if I should pop you an email askong if you were alright :)
    I am so happy to hear that this journey even if hard was a very beautiful one.
    Here is to the bright days ahead.
    Take care <3

    • Reply
      Paula @
      June 5, 2018 at 7:21 pm

      Thank you so much, Aleks! I’ve noticed you’ve been a little quiet on the blog, and hope you’re doing okay! Always here if you ever need anything! Sending love your way! xx

  • Reply
    Asaake |
    June 5, 2018 at 7:46 pm

    I feel you and know this struggle. I love calling the US home but there’s another home and gives me so much joy as well and every time I visit, it’s bitter sweet! I’m glad your well and enjoyed your time off. We all need it every now and then! Welcome back 💃🏾

  • Reply
    June 5, 2018 at 8:03 pm

    Aww. I hope you feel better soon. Reading this, I could feel you feeling better, and picturing the moments you were writing about really put a smile on my face. Feel better love.

  • Reply
    June 5, 2018 at 9:44 pm

    Take the time you need! Both of my grandfather’s have passed leaving my grandmothers alone. I understand that feeling of trying to comfort them because you feel sorry for them because they’re probably lonely and have no one to talk to. ♥

    • Reply
      Paula @
      June 6, 2018 at 9:13 am

      Aww so sorry to hear that, Michelle! It’s definitely one of the downsides of “growing up”- seeing people you love get older. xx

  • Reply
    June 5, 2018 at 10:11 pm

    I’m so glad you’re back, but I’m also glad you got to see and spend some quality time with your nearest and dearest. Sounds like it’s just what your soul needed. xo

  • Reply
    June 5, 2018 at 10:14 pm

    I think its wonderful you got away, touched base with your roots, and stayed firmly away from your obligations here in the US. You make me proud!


    • Reply
      Paula @
      June 6, 2018 at 9:16 am

      Aww thank you so much, Jane! It definitely felt good and even a bit surreal at times. Much needed, for sure. Hope all is well! xx

  • Reply
    Paulina Górska |
    June 6, 2018 at 1:52 am

    OMG, I didn’t know that you come from Poland, I’m Polish! :D Now I love your blog even more. :D Can you speak Polish? :>

  • Reply
    Want for Wellness
    June 6, 2018 at 2:45 am

    I am happy to hear your getaway had some healing properties… All the best to you!

    Nathalie |

  • Reply
    Primrose Bigwood
    June 6, 2018 at 3:45 am

    So glad to hear you had a break from all things social media and the internet, it’s definitely good for us, especially through difficult times. It’s always strange resisting nostalgia too, but so lovely too! Poland is such a stunning country! x

    • Reply
      Paula @
      June 6, 2018 at 9:22 am

      Thank you so much, Beauty! I couldn’t agree more- especially for those of us who run blogs or do most of their work online.

  • Reply
    Hannah Cao
    June 6, 2018 at 3:55 am

    Having said break is so beneficial imo. Especially for us bloggers who hustle online all the time. Glad you were able to heal and recover a bit. x

    Hannah | coffee with hannah

    • Reply
      Paula @
      June 6, 2018 at 9:17 am

      It felt great, haven’t disconnected like this in years and it definitely puts things into perspective!

  • Reply
    Linda Libra Loca
    June 6, 2018 at 4:59 am

    I was thinking about you a few days ago, wondering why I hadn’t heard from you for so long. I am glad it was for a lovely holiday break.
    Being so far apart from your family must be hard at times, especially with the very young and very old ones, so I am glad you got to experience that time with them fully.

    Anne – Linda, Libra, Loca

    • Reply
      Paula @
      June 6, 2018 at 9:19 am

      Thank you so much, Anne! Both with the very old and very young is when time, even just months make such a big difference. I loved every minute of being with them. Excited to get back to the swing of things but I do think I’ll be scheduling “offline” days for myself from now on!

  • Reply
    Natalie Redman
    June 6, 2018 at 6:02 am

    So happy you got some time away from social media, sometimes it’s good to disconnect!

  • Reply
    Jen Lawrence
    June 6, 2018 at 8:47 am

    So glad you had a good break. Disconnecting is key. XO

  • Reply
    Claire Wakefield
    June 6, 2018 at 3:13 pm

    I’m so sorry to hear of your loss! But it’s also nice to hear that you’ve had some lovely moments while revisiting as well.
    Sometimes we get so caught up in the online world, we forget about the real things in front of us. Wishing you all the best xx

    Claire |

  • Reply
    Zoë Ware
    June 6, 2018 at 4:52 pm

    Im glad you had a good break from the internet, its so important to unplug every now and again. I understand what its like having two places to call home, other sides of the world : ) my homes and England and Canada : )) Im so sorry to hear of your loss, I know it is difficult, but Im happy you got to go back to see your family and relive their memories xx

  • Reply
    June 6, 2018 at 9:25 pm

    I’d been thinking about you too & wondering where you were! SO GLAD you took the time to disconnect & get away from it all as I truly believe it’s important for all of us to do so, whether it be in good or bad times. I think when we disconnect from our devices & social media, we also connect/re-connect with the world around us + the people who surround us as well & it sounds like you did plenty of connecting (and re-connecting) whilst you were in Poland. I’m glad to hear you feel re-energised!

    • Reply
      Paula @
      June 27, 2018 at 1:49 pm

      Aww thank you so much, Shell! Disconnecting from everything was something that I’ve craved for a while and I’m so happy I was able to actually resist picking up my phone or reaching for my laptop.

      Hope you’re doing well!! xx

  • Reply
    June 6, 2018 at 10:58 pm

    Was wondering where you were & hoping everything was ok health-wise. Glad to hear you are rested & recharged. Unplugging is key! 👍🏻

  • Reply
    June 7, 2018 at 7:45 am

    So glad for you!! Cannot wait for your upcoming posts :)

  • Reply
    The Sunday Mode
    June 12, 2018 at 8:18 am

    I don’t know you personally but even through the internet I can just tell that you’re someone who’s a really hard worker and someone who puts a lot of passion into what you do, so I’m so happy that you got a good break and got to spend some time without the internet. I often find that when I’m internet free for about the first few hours I miss it and then after that, it’s kind of like I never want to look at my laptop again because you can just live so freely without it- if that makes sense?

    Anyway, sending love from my side of the world :)

    Julia // The Sunday Mode

    • Reply
      Paula @
      June 27, 2018 at 1:52 pm

      That is such a sweet thing to say, Julia, thank you so much! I get what you’re saying, I felt the same way! I missed blogging a lot, but I still can’t bring myself to go back to daily Instagram posting- taking a break made me realize how much time it sucked out of my day, haha!

      Hope you’re doing well! xx

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