5 Steps to a More Positive (+ Happy) Life

how-to-be-more-positive

5 Steps to a More Positive (and happy) Life

Are you a worrier?

When your mind is constantly preoccupied with apprehension, you feel uneasy and anxious most of the time. You might feel like you’re losing control over your own life. This is a feeling that I’m well too familiar with.

A while ago, I was going through a difficult time and felt stressed and overwhelmed. I’m talking about one of those days when you’re emotionally drained and you feel like you got run over by a train. I felt my anxiety levels go up, and then I realized something. I realized that it’s been so long since I’ve felt this way. I’ve realized that only few years ago, this was how I felt almost all the time. Always worried. Always anxious. It was then that I became aware that despite there being no drastic changes in my life during past couple of years, I am not the same person anymore. My life is completely different, but the only thing that has really changed, was my attitude.

REALIZE THAT HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE

This might be difficult to realize at first. I get it. BUT, there’s actually a scientific proof to that and your thinking patterns play a huge role in this. A lot of the circumstances surrounding your life might be beyond your control but you can control how you respond to them. You can either spend your life complaining and constantly nagging, or you can chose to feel grateful, inspired and passionate about your life. Keep in mind that having a positive outlook on life does not mean having a perfect life. It doesn’t mean that you won’t struggle, it doesn’t mean that you won’t feel like giving up, it doesn’t mean that you won’t experience setbacks or that you won’t feel disappointed at times. I still experience all of those things; but those things used to crush me and kill my encouragement, I now treat them as lessons- and those are necessary for any kind of growth. [pullquote width=”300″ float=”left”] Keep your thoughts positive, because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive,because your words become your behavior. Keep your behavior positive, because your behavior becomes your habit. Keep your habits positive, because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive,because your values become your destiny. -Mahatma Gandhi[/pullquote]  Here’s the thing.

You are just as deserving of a happy, amazing life as anyone else is.

You life wasn’t meant to be a struggle, an uphill battle. If you don’t like something, change it. Don’t waste your energy on negative people. Eat a little healthier. Go for a long run. Try meditating. Do things that scare you a little. Do something for the first time. Learn a new skill.

Take a little responsibility instead of just letting things “happen” to you. You are meant to have an amazing life.

Change is good. Declutter your life, just as you would declutter your desk. Get rid of toxic people from your life. Whenever you’re around someone who only talks about negative things, gossips a lot, throws judgment around like it’s confetti, you can almost feel your energy levels drop. If you can’t help it and you have to be around negative people, try to either steer the conversation into a positive direction, or remove yourself from that situation. I’ll be honest and say that just a few years ago, this was something that never really bothered me. Now, I can’t stand being around people who only focus on the negative things in life.

 FIND PASSION

Find something that brings you joy. Something that makes you feel happy, something that will keep you busy and will set your soul on fire. Follow your bliss, every single day. If you haven’t found it, keep searching.

SPREAD YOUR SPARKLE

I think that we all have that one person in our lives that makes us happy when we’re around them. The person that never nags, never gossips, the person that always makes you laugh, always makes you feel good about yourself and lifts you higher. If you don’t have a person like that in your life- be that person for others- for your friends, family. I don’t know about you, but I think that making the people you love happy is one of the best feelings there are. Smile, compliment your friends, don’t judge their decisions and when needed, give a constructive, but loving feedback.

LEARN TO LET GO

Let go of things you cannot control, of things (or anything else) that do not serve you. Forgive others, forgive yourself. Sometimes, bad and ugly things happen to us. Sometimes we get our hearts broken time and time again. Those things always teach us a lesson- take that lesson with you, but let go of the past. Worrying about things that have happened in the past, or things that might happen in the future is a waste of your energy. This isn’t easy to do, take it one day at a time.

SEE GOOD IN EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE

I think this one is especially important in relationships and during stressful times in your life. Don’t make assumptions about people, don’t judge and compare. Let go of the negativity, the drama. When you think about the people in your life, concentrate on their best qualities- especially when they happen to hurt your feelings, or make you feel upset. When you chose to see the good in everything and everyone, you will see just how much there is to be thankful for.

happy-words

What is something that you really love about your life? What is something that you love about yourself? I’d love to know. Focus on those things. Write them down. Read them over and over again, every single day. The more you pay attention to those things, you’ll start noticing more and more things to be grateful for.

  • Such a lovely and very important post!
    Much love
    xx
    http://mariannelle.com/

  • Christine C.

    I think this post just really hit home for me. Sometimes life seems so crazy that we forget that WE are in charge of our own lives and that we can make changes to help promote a more positive, more fulfilling life. Great post!

  • The first point is really the most valuable for me; you have to choose to be happy and those choices include finding a passion etc. Also setting goals and imagining a future x

    https://wineandwhine99.wordpress.com/

  • This is an amazing post. Normally, I am a very positive person but lately I’ve been a little stressed and overwhelmed and I’m finding myself getting preoccupied with negative thoughts. This is a great reminder that life isn’t so bad and I a lot to be happy about.

  • Such an uplifting post, exactly what I needed to read right now xxx

    ALittleKiran | Bloglovin

  • Lots of lovely uplifting things in this post Paula – thank you for sharing!
    – Ambar x
    http://www.herlittleloves.co.uk

  • I am LOVING all of these posts about positivity and mindfulness. It’s been something I’ve been working on. I was SO positive and happy before going to college, and then college kind of drained me. Then I was stuck at a job I hated, which just consumes you. I’ve been at a great new job for five years and I’ve been working these past couple years on bringing myself back to where I used to be.
    Going off your “If you don’t like something, change it”, there’s a quote from the musical Aida that I LOVE: “If you don’t like your fate, change it. You are your own master, there are no shackles on you”. I love that, it’s so true! And I also love this quote that gets repeated a lot in the mindfulness app I use: “Just as you want to be happy and avoid suffering, so do they.” You can’t control how people are, but you CAN remind yourself that they’re just trying to do their best, just like you. Being the control freak that I am it’s hard to let go of that sometimes, but it’s another thing to work on!
    Katie
    OverTheMoony.com

    • Thank you so much Katie!! College can do that to you, as can a job you hate- ugh I’ve been there! So happy to know that you now have a job that you like! Love both quotes you mentioned- they definitely fit in beautifully with this post/topic!

  • Love these steps and couldn’t agree more. There are days when I feel less positive and a little down but I know it will pass. Focusing and bringing myself back to reality by taking time to think about the good in my life does help. Happiness is a feeling, not a destination. It’s part of life, do what makes you feel happy and great.

    Natasha | The Night is Wild

    • Thank you Natasha! It’s definitely hard to be positive 100% of the time and I think it’s important to have bad days too- otherwise we wouldn’t know how good it feels to feel… good. :)

  • Such a positive post! I definitely agree with all these points, and being able to see the good in people is always so important. Also always give them the benefit of the doubt, I always say give others the same treatment you want to recieve
    Kathy x
    http://www.alongcamekathy.blogspot.co.nz

  • I have particular rough week and this post is salvation. Yep, I don’t understand why people said people with positive outlook doesn’t have it bad. Just because we have positive outlook, doesn’t mean we cannot be down, doesn’t mean we can’t stress, we’re just human, and in the end, our outlook is also something we’re struggling to keep, maintain, and realize. We’re just ‘human’, we’re allowed and privileged to feel many things – good and bad – but it doesn’t make us less than anyone else.

    Thanks a lot for this, Paula :)

    Selene Addicted

    • Sorry to hear you had a bad week, hope you’re doing better now! I think it’s those bad days and rough times that make us appreciate the good ones ;)

  • My favourite quote is “happiness is a choice not a fate”, it reminds me everyday that I have to choose to be happy because it’s not just going to come to me!
    Cloe X http://clxelouise.blogspot.com

  • I love how possitive you are about all your suggestions. I always find I feel happier when I do something creative. I like to draw. The other thing that makes me happy is making someone else smile. I always forget my troubles when I know I made someone feel better.
    I have worked a lot to accept myself and learn to be happy with just being me. It takes time, but it is possible.

    Deni
    denisday.org| Beauty & Plus Size Fashion

  • Hannah Russell

    Great post, and some great advice :) Very good point about realising what you deserve and what makes you happy!!

    Hannah
    Hannahvictoriarussell.co.uk

  • Ana

    This was a great post! I totally agree with you xxx
    http://fallingforablog.blogspot.com.es/2016/08/italy-diary-part-i-pisa.html

  • I loved this post, I truly believe it definitely comes down to your attitude! We all have bad days, that is normal, but day to day we do control how we react ot everything. I love how positive you always are Paula, and how much you help and inspire people! Have an incredible weekend! XO -Kim

    • I feel the same way, Kim! I think your attitude can be a game-changer! Bad days have their purpose too- they always make us appreciate the good ones! :) Hope you’re having a lovely weekend!

  • Danielle Kennedy

    I love my little family, our home and life together (hubby, kids, and our animals). I love spreading kindness around. I always try (I sometimes get stuck in my “box of self pity” and fail) to be extra kind that cross my path while out running errands or anywhere actually. We never know what another person is facing. Example: I could get upset that this woman is being a jerk but “what if” she just left the doctor and found out she had cancer & she has a hubby and 4 kids she cares for? I do believe I would be an emotional wreck if I had something like that happen. I would hope that people would not judge. Yet, all to often (I know I have and I am ashamed of it) we rather assume and judge then to stop and show some kindness. So when you run into difficult people don’t let them change you….let your actions change them.

    • Love that Danielle- it’s very true. I try to do the same thing, always being kind to everyone- even when they’re not necessarily being nice to me. It’s not always easy, but it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try.

  • Lucy Lees

    Great post :) I definitely agree with the power of positivity; I suffer from anxiety often and it can be crippling. I discuss this a lot throughout my blog, but I think when you learn how to let go of negative thoughts, people or events, you really can change for the better- typical that this is so difficult to do!
    Life inside the Locket

  • This is just the kick in the ass I needed today. Thank you.

  • Thanks for this post. I really needed to read it right now!

  • Virginie Paladini

    Amazing post, really thank you! <3
    About my life: good heart, young, amazing holidays & starting university soon!
    About me: Trying things I believe in!