Lifestyle self-growth

How to Protect Your Energy


I feel like I’m an emotional sponge.

My friend just finished telling me about how her daily lunch break at work has turned into her being forced to listen to hour-long rants from one of her co-workers who is going through a bitter divorce.

Yup. I can relate.

To being an emotional sponge, that is.

If I talk to someone close and listen to their problems, struggles, or issues, it’s almost a guarantee that I will have trouble falling asleep that day. Or that at least, my energy levels will suddenly drop.

Certain people or places just have that effect on me. Over the last couple of years, after going through quite a few changes during the journey of my personal growth, I’ve discovered that I very easily soak up other people’s emotions.

It was also around that time that I realized that sometimes, you just have to protect your energy in order to stay sane.




Here’s a little secret to my sanity: I turn my phone off, all.the.time. I just have to. There are days when I just feel so emotionally drained. So empty. It doesn’t always have to do with a serious tragedy that’s going on. Sometimes it’s something as simple as other people dumping their own problems and emotions on me, while I’ve got my own shit to deal with. Sometimes you just have to allow yourself to disconnect from all of that, and just be. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad friend, but some people can become energy vampires, where they just suck all the positive energy out of us- staying away from them isn’t always an option, but you can protect your energy.

My little office room is my sacred space. I have my candles, my essential oils, my favorite books, my vision board, my gratitude journal- all lay down on my desk. There’s my dog, who usually follows me and lies down by my feet. The minute I enter that room, my energy shifts. I just find my focus and I’m back in my happy place.

Protect Your Energy

I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned my friend in one of my previous posts, who is a mom and also runs her own business. Her sacred space is actually… her pantry. Every time she needs to stop for a minute, she will leave her kids with her partner, grab a glass of wine and some dark chocolate and just sit in her pantry for a few minutes. Other times, she’d tell me that sitting on her living room floor, surrounded by toys and her three kids is her sacred space, whenever she feels that her positive energy levels are being affected by work.

Find that sacred space for yourself- and it can be literally anything; your bathroom, car, bedroom, kitchen. The best way to avoid stress and feeling emotionally drained and to protect your energy is to have a plan for when those negative feelings begin to take over.


…or a cold shower. I once read that self-care advice such as “take a long bath” are a little ridiculous because… not everyone owns a bathtub. Or even enjoys baths. And I kind of agree with that.

The thing is, it’s not about the actual “act” of TAKING a bath or a long shower. It’s about the fact that for many of us, those of us who are constantly busy, working, taking care of our families, interacting with others,  the time we spend in the shower or a bath, is the only time we truly get to disconnect throughout the day. It’s the only time we have all to ourselves. Not everyone can afford to take an entire day off and go hiking  (hiking alone isn’t always a great idea, btw) so sometimes, a longer shower or a bath just has to do.

Something that I like to do at the end of the day, is to actually visualize my stress and anxiety and that heaviness while I’m in the shower and imagine them literally wash away. The warm water also helps to ease and relax those tense muscles often caused by stress, so your body relaxes, you can also visualize that stress leaving your body and your energy being restored.


… and choose love, instead. Protecting your energy and letting go of fear go hand in hand. Here’s an example: when I talk to a friend or a loved one and hear about the things they’re going through, problems they have to deal with, my mind tends to jump into that *fear* mode. I’m sure that a lot of you who are also highly sensitive empaths can relate. I’ve had nights when I couldn’t sleep because I was thinking about the things that a friend is going through. That’s fear, and that’s me, allowing it take over. Moodiness, trouble sleeping and tiredness often follow.

Sometimes you can also feel that fear take over when traveling or going to an important meeting or an interview. You just feel your energy levels change and you immediately feel fear. That’s when you have to protect your energy; imagine yourself being wrapped up in a warm blanket, feel yourself being strong, standing strong, tell yourself “I am safe” and remember that your energy, is your responsibility.


Here’s something that I myself have been learning to do over the last couple of years: the need to learn to detach myself from other people’s negative emotions. I’m sure that a lot of you can relate; you’re talking to a friend or a family member, and suddenly find yourself immersed in their emotions and feelings. Usually, if those feelings or emotions are of a negative nature; its effect on us just seems much stronger. Afterwards, you sometimes feel your own energy levels drop. That’s when it becomes a bit difficult to differentiate between your own feelings and the feelings of that other person. You kind of have to stop and ask yourself: “is what I’m feeling right now my feeling or someone else’s feeling?”

For empaths, this isn’t always easy to do as we tend to literally absorb the energy from other people, places. One of the other ways to protect your energy is to become aware of places, people or situations which trigger a change or even a subtle shift in you. Who and what is sucking the energy out of you? Pay attention and don’t be afraid to set those healthy boundaries. Think of it as an act of self-love, because that’s exactly what it is.

When people, places, and events give out positive energy, it’s almost contagious. The same thing goes for people, places, and events that give out negative energy, unfortunately.  The latter can leave you feeling dull and damaged. Here’s the thing to remember: most of the people who do drain that energy out of you, aren’t aware of what they’re doing. This is important to remember because you can use that as an opportunity to once again, choose love, instead of entertaining fear or frustration. You are in charge of protecting energy, do not allow anything (or anyone) to mess with it. 


  • Reply
    Janah Jay
    November 2, 2017 at 11:31 am

    This spoke to me loud and clear, Paula!

    Not only am I resident agony aunt for my family and friends, but I’m an empath too and as much I love helping people through situations, I can also find it very draining and this post helped me to figure out why. I never actually made a connection to my empathy and sleeping troubles before! I’ll take better care to protect my energy in the future by doing this:

    “You kind of have to stop and ask yourself: “is what I’m feeling right now my feeling or someone else’s feeling?”

    SO needed to hear that! xxxx

    Janah |

    • Reply
      Paula @
      November 3, 2017 at 10:44 am

      I sometimes feel like I want to help too much and wish I could just fix everyone’s problems. That, is sadly impossible, hehe. Protecting your energy is definitely something that is very important to learn! Very glad you enjoyed this, Janah! Thank you!

  • Reply
    November 2, 2017 at 11:33 am

    Very Apt! It’s always good to disconnect from energy sapping people or places. For me it’s social media, I take a break every week from Monday to Wednesday coz seeing all the negative things that happen in the world today gets to me and makes me wonder why we are all here sometimes. So I just switch off so I can focus on positive things and the things that matter to me. Thanks Paula

    • Reply
      Paula @
      November 3, 2017 at 10:48 am

      Oh yes! That is such a great point you bring up about social media. Definitely necessary to switch off once in a while!

  • Reply
    Deanna Marie
    November 2, 2017 at 2:23 pm

    Beautiful post!! I identify as an empath too and there are some days where I just can’t invest in normal activities the way I want to because I feel so drained…I love your suggestions to protect your energy! My dream, once I own my own house, is to carve out a “sacred space” of my own with all of my favourite things.


    • Reply
      Paula @
      November 3, 2017 at 10:47 am

      Aw thank you, Deanna! I definitely know what it feels like to feel so drained you can’t focus on anything. Hope your dream comes true very soon! x

  • Reply
    November 2, 2017 at 2:44 pm

    Brilliant tips on such an important topic – I love to have a good long bath when everything gets too much. Protecting your energy is such a lovely way of putting it and is definitely something I think we should all try harder to do!

    Holly from The Art of Being Holly xo

  • Reply
    November 2, 2017 at 2:58 pm

    I’m at loss of words to describe how incredible this post is Paula! I do also feel like I am an emotional sponge. I just hate the fact that these energy vampires derive so much satisfaction out of dumping their negativity on empathetic beings and instilling fear in their minds. I just feel like these energy drainers are actually not that sad or depressed but the act making other people (especially, empaths) feel bad about their life and situation and getting an highly empathetic reply makes them feel important and worthy and then this becomes their habit.
    It is just so so important to protect your energy and not feel guilty about trying to detach yourself from the negative emotions and pains of other people who just suck up all the positivity inside of you and around you.
    Thank you for writing this post, I’m going to bookmark it :)

    • Reply
      Paula @
      November 3, 2017 at 10:42 am

      Thank you SO much, Aditi! I know exactly how that feels because I’m the same way. You do have to practice detachment and learn to disconnect your own feelings from others, sometimes- especially if, like me, you get very invested in other people’s problems and they sometimes keep you up at night. Definitely no need to feel guilty!

      So happy that you enjoyed reading this post!!

  • Reply
    Linda Libra Loca
    November 3, 2017 at 4:08 am

    Even though I am not an emotional sponge, I can relate to being overwhelmed. Going to my “sacred space” and really switching off by turning off the phone and other distractions helps a lot.

    But as far as other people go, I actually get energy from listening to them tell me about their problems.

    Anne|Linda, Libra, Loca

    • Reply
      Paula @
      November 3, 2017 at 10:40 am

      I get way too invested sometimes, it gets to a point where I sometimes worry about someone else’s situation a lot more than they do, haha :)

      I love turning off my phone too and have to do it all the time!

  • Reply
    Aleksandra // bunniesaremagic
    November 3, 2017 at 4:20 am

    I’m trying to always be there for people and listen, but I must admit, sometimes I just turn my friends off. It is easy as they are far away, all it takes is to mute my phone; or even better, turn off messages notifications for 48h. Does it make me a bad friend? Probably. Does it let me stay sane though? Most definitely.

    • Reply
      Paula @
      November 3, 2017 at 10:39 am

      I do the same sometimes but I don’t think it’s something that makes you a bad friend. Some people need other people and their energy, others, like me, need to completely disconnect in order to recharge.

  • Reply
    Melanie Snyder
    November 3, 2017 at 7:46 am

    I could have written this post about my own life! I’ve finally learned I have to detach. You’ve provided some helpful tips for dealing with stressful situations. 🙏🏼🦋

    • Reply
      Paula @
      November 3, 2017 at 10:38 am

      Thank you, Melanie! Learning to detach is so important, so happy you were able to accomplish that! x

  • Reply
    Very Much Mia
    November 4, 2017 at 1:12 pm

    I definitely relate to feeling like an emotional sponge.I love the idea of giving yourself reminders that you are safe rather than falling down a tunnel of fear. And YES to turning off the phone! It’s so important makes a huge difference to detach from technology.

    Mia |

    • Reply
      Paula @
      January 9, 2018 at 9:58 pm

      It really is all about looking after yourself. I also love turning off my phone, need to do it all the time! :) Thank you for reading, Mia! x

  • Reply
    Kay Her
    November 8, 2017 at 12:29 am

    Hi Paula. This was such a great post. I truly believe in self care and in giving yourself space and having a place you can go to, to unwind at the end of the day.
    I am such an empath, like you’ve mentioned, I feel like a sponge sometime absorbing everyones emotions.
    This happened yesterday with a friend of mine who has been going through a lot and I felt so affected, emotionally by her life stories… I took some time before bed to pray about the situation as well as for her.

    Thank you for these helpful tips. Love you!!❤

    Love, Kazua

  • Reply
    dawn berry
    November 12, 2017 at 12:19 pm

    I also can totally relate to this. its very difficult to switch off when its close family members like your own children who are having a difficult time. But if you don’t, you yourself will be so depleted that you won’t be any help to them. Great tips here, especially about having a place of your own to replenish your energy.

  • Reply
    Anya Anne Light
    November 13, 2017 at 3:51 pm

    Bravo to you for turning off your phone!

  • Reply
    Natalie Redman
    December 3, 2017 at 7:15 pm

    Great post! Love a good bath!

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