Lifestyle self-growth

Overcoming Perfectionism: Ditch your desire to be perfect

Not. Good. Enough.

If my life had a theme song, that would be the title. I’m not exactly sure where my desire for that constant perfection came from, but it was here, for as long as I can remember.

Actually, I’m not entirely sure if it’s so much of a desire to be perfect, as it is a paralyzing fear of failure. It doesn’t matter if I’m cooking, cleaning, working, blogging, exercising- I’ve always felt the need for everything to go and be…. perfect. I’m not talking about the drive and need to excel- because there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I’m talking about the constant need to control the outcome of every possible situation. I’m talking about obsessive double-triple checking, putting yourself down and never acknowledging your victories, however small or big.

Perfectionism is often linked to depression and anxiety. I don’t need to read any research papers that prove this because I’ve suffered from both. Right now though, I am mostly in a great place in my life. Even though I’ve had a really rough year with my loss and my recent injury, I kind of finally understand what it means for things to “fall into place.”

I like to think of myself as a work in progress. I still have things to work on- like my short temper (meditation definitely helps with that!) but one thing that I’m slowly letting go off, is perfectionism.

I’ve learned to let go and surrender- that’s how I’m overcoming perfectionism.


Overcoming Perfectionism: Ditch Your Desire To Be Perfect


… for that perfect moment. If you wait, it’ll never come. Trust me on this one. I think that a lot of us spend majority of our time waiting. I know people who spend their entire lives… waiting. I hear people say, all the time: “I just can’t wait to get a better job“,  “I will be happy when I get a bigger house” or “I will be happy when I’ll meet the one“, “I will start once I’m ready.”

You can spend your entire life, saying these things. You can spend the rest of your life waiting to start living.

When I closed down my first blog and created Thirteen Thoughts, I wanted it to be perfect. I wanted to have nice photos, a good layout, and great content. I was kind of frustrated when I first started getting into photography and discovered just how much I suck at it. I didn’t know how to tweak my blog design and was completely clueless when it came to using WordPress. I barely posted any content and kept telling myself “I’ll just wait until I get a hang of this camera” or “I’ll just wait until I get some studio lights“. Truth is, the only way for me to actually learn something, was to start. If I hadn’t put that thinking behind, I’d miss out on finding something that I’m passionate about, something that brings a lot of joy into my life. The only way to learn, is to do, try and practice.

Related reading:

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+ On How Blogging Restored My Faith in Female Friendship


I am such a homebody. I don’t go out too often anymore, but occasionally my best friend will convince me to out for drinks after work. She knows that I am a total control freak, (the night has to be planned down to the last detail) so she’ll send me the name of the place she’s taking me to and, if applicable, she’ll attach a website and a link to Yelp reviews. I’m being totally serious. This girl knows that I need to know things (like… does the place have food? Is the food plant-based friendly? Do they have an outdoor bar? Where can I park? Is there a fee for parking? Where exactly is the bathroom?!). She’s completely different from me, but she gets me. She knows how to put me at ease so that when I go out I don’t have to worry about stupid shit like whether or not I have enough quarters to park my car (well my night could be ruined if I was forced to get some change). I can just let go of my need to control, and enjoy the moment and have fun instead. People like her, you keep around.

Overcoming perfectionism can be nearly impossible if you’re surrounded by people who are too hard on you, hold high expectations or refuse to celebrate your victories. The fear of failure, fear of disappointing someone, fear of not being liked- these are all linked to perfectionism.

Point is, you can’t waste your time on negative people or those who hold you to impossibly high standards. And, you can’t waste your time not being who you really are, being afraid of saying what you want to say or do things you feel like doing, without the fear of being judged. Surround yourself with people who make you feel at ease and help you grow. Be around those who don’t make you feel like you have to be perfect all the time and like you for who you are.



Perfectionists can feel a strong need to always be in control of their emotions. I never understood where my social anxiety came from, but I’m starting to think that it’s linked to that constant need to be perfect at all times. I never made a lot of friends in college for a very simple reason: I didn’t want to. I was working full-time so I just didn’t have the time. When I went to class, it was just to listen to the lecture, take notes and basically get my money’s worth. The only classmates I ever talked to were my lab partners. Then, during my last year in college, I was invited to a conference in Boston, along with three other students from my year, to present our senior theses. Instead of feeling accomplished and excited, I started panicking. Being the control freak that I am, I took it upon myself to book our hotel rooms (even though there were three of us girls, I needed to make sure that I’ll have a separate room all to myself) and arrange for all of us to meet at the train station. I had to be in complete control, otherwise, everything would turn into a huge mess.

When we finally got there, I just wanted to go to my hotel room and sit there until the conference started the next day. I wanted to allow myself as much time to prepare as possible, even though I had my entire research memorized. Somehow, we all ended up going out to dinner, we had some drinks and I actually ended up enjoying myself. By the time the weekend was over, I felt like I was spending time with a bunch of old friends. We had some deep conversations, we laughed and joked and just had a good time. During our last night, one of the girls said to me “you know, I never would’ve guessed that you’re so cool and fun” and then she added “when I first saw you in class I thought you were a total bitch” … “sorry” she added when I looked at her, amused.

Truth is, I get that all the time. People always think I’m mean, sad, angry or just bitchy. Until I open my mouth and start reciting corny jokes.

That weekend was a little life-changing for me (don’t worry though, I still cried and had a mini panic attack when I noticed that my professor, who was in charge of printing out my posters, made a mistake. This happened literally 5 minutes before I was up- to me, it was more proof that unless I overlook everything myself, I’m doomed). It was during that weekend when realized that if I just let go of that need to control the outcome of every single situation, I can actually have fun. I don’t have to be in control, all the time. I can let go. I can relax.

Since then, I’ve learned to surrender. I’m not afraid of looking silly or embarrassing myself. I don’t need anyone’s approval or acceptance. The more I put myself in situations that are a bit (or a lot) out of my comfort zone, where I know I won’t be in total control, the braver I’m starting to feel. It hasn’t been easy though. Growing up, I heard “not good enough” too many times, and when you hear things like that over and over again, you eventually start to believe them. So, if that’s something you (or someone else) have been telling yourself for a while, maybe it’s time to tell a different story?


For perfectionists, there is no in-between. You’re either getting that 100% or you’re a complete failure. When I was in school, I couldn’t stand others doing better than me. I wasn’t happy with a 97% I wanted that 100% (105%, whenever possible). It’s sort of like when you start working out, or maybe you want to change your eating habits. You don’t work out for a day or two (because…. you know.. life) and you start feeling crappy. Or, you’ve been eating clean for a few days but you have a moment of weakness and end up eating junk food, and you think to yourself “well… now that I broke my diet, it makes no sense to continue it, I’ll just start again next week“. This is an all-or-nothing attitude, where you aren’t happy with just 80% or 90%. This is why perfectionists have a hard time acknowledging their own success- they always want to be and do better. And that’s when the anxiety comes in- you spend more time worrying about failing than you do focusing on what it is you’re trying to accomplish. The anxiety and the worry get in your way and make you miserable. It can literally suck the happiness out of your life.

Perfectionism is not a quest for the best. It is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves, the part that tells us that nothing we do will ever be good enough- that we should try again.” – Julia Cameron
I think that perfectionism is also something that a lot of people use as an excuse. I know I have- I’ve used it as an excuse for ages. A few years ago, I posted a little note on my bathroom mirror that says “who are you?“. Every day, as I brush my teeth, I think to myself, “am I going to make any excuses today?”  I try not to live in fear anymore. Fear of failure, fear of not being good enough. That is not to say that my desire to be perfect is gone completely- I don’t think it ever will be. I just try to focus on my goals more than I’m focusing on that fear of making a mistake or failing.

Perfectionism can be a way of avoiding rejection and criticism from others or even from yourself. As much as you can try and control every aspect of your life, you can’t. This is why overcoming perfectionism, and ditching that desire to be perfect, is so important. You can’t always control or predict the outcome. Can you imagine how boring and dull your life would be if you knew exactly what’s around the corner?


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  • Reply
    Wanderlust Girl (kyia belle)
    June 24, 2016 at 7:18 pm

    Sometimes I feel as is whatever it is I’m doing, I know I can do better in some way, even if I’m trying my hardest. I also get that feeling even when nothing appears to be wrong with what I’m doing. It’s intimidation of the online world, as well as pressure to be like other bloggers/ people. I’ve actually done a post with the idea of reminding yourself that it’s okay to “fail”, and that as long as you pick yourself up, things will be okay (Search: Why We Shouldn’t Compare Ourselves To Social Media’s Idea Of Perfection & “Grey Days” And Not Giving Up). Just remember you CAN do it! Loving the post xxx

  • Reply
    June 24, 2016 at 7:51 pm

    Such a great thoughtful post! Will definitely help many of your readers like myself :)
    Kathy x

  • Reply
    Leigh Brady
    June 24, 2016 at 7:54 pm

    I’m 100% like this! I literally want every single thing to be perfect and I get anxious and over worked when I feel like I’m under perfroming, I always even want to be more than perfect it’s so hard to convince yourself getting 95% instead of 100% is still great. Loved reading your experience! x


  • Reply
    June 24, 2016 at 10:56 pm

    I love this post from the deepest depths of my heart. You hit everything so spot on. I’m wired very much the same way. I’ve been working towards being easier on myself and going with the flow of things, but it isn’t always easy. I laughed at the portion where you talked about your best friend because my best friend does the same for me! I am the same way! I start to feel very sickly if things aren’t planned out. Loved this post so much that I added it to stumbleupon! :)
    xx Nichole
    Fall Upon Glamour

    • Reply
      Paula @
      June 26, 2016 at 11:59 am

      Thank you so much Nichole!! Haha yes, I can’t stand it when things don’t go according to my plan, but I’m trying to learn how to let go of that need to control everything :) Thank you for visiting!

  • Reply
    June 25, 2016 at 12:42 am

    I am totally, totally with you. Perfectionism left me with terrible anxiety in my teens. It can be so hard to let go and remember it’s ok to be just ok! We all need a bit more of this post!

    Beekeyper – Latest – Places to stay on Nosy Be

  • Reply
    June 25, 2016 at 1:20 am

    I so love this, Paula. You really have a way of expressing yourself in a way that so many can identify with. I have had many of the same perfectionism issues and they don’t go away as we get older and mature. I hear women say that the are finally comfortable with themselves. I really don’t know. Self acceptance is very important and perhaps when we grasp that we can give up the high standards we place on ourselves.

    Keep up the great posts!


    • Reply
      Paula @
      June 26, 2016 at 12:04 pm

      Thank you Janet! So happy that you liked this post. I definitely feel more comfortable as I get older, but I don’t know if it’s simply because I’m older, or because I’ve learned to recognize those patterns and habits that make me feel anxious. Taking care of myself, taking time out and knowing when to stop- it all helps. Although I still find it difficult to just relax and let go at times- I always feel so guilty when not doing anything productive haha ;) I think it’s all work in progress. It’s great to know that I’m not the only girl who struggles with this!

  • Reply
    The Sunday Mode
    June 25, 2016 at 2:43 am

    It’s funny because I’ve been thinking about writing a post like this for a while but I’ve avoided it because I can’t seem to put my thoughts into words and sentences that actually make sense. You’ve written this so well though Paula, to the point where I’m starting to think that we’re twins because I can relate to so much of what you’re saying. As much as I want to be ‘that’ spontaneous person I always want to know absolutely everything about where I’m going and what I’m doing and all of that is crippling at times.

    Sometimes I just need to ditch my plans and permanent to do lists and go with the flow, you know? Although, easier said than done!

    • Reply
      Paula @
      June 26, 2016 at 12:14 pm

      It literally took me two weeks to write this post. I just couldn’t find a way to express my feelings. Every time I sat down to write it, my mind would just go blank. When writing some of these posts, I feel like I need the idea to simmer a little, before I can actually put it in writing.

      I am so happy that you enjoyed this post Julia, it wasn’t easy to write and I was so happy when I finally published it. It’s definitely easier said than done, but sometimes, I literally force myself into situations that I know will be uncomfortable and it helps me out a little when I realize that things aren’t as bad as I expected them to be.

  • Reply
    Emily Carter
    June 25, 2016 at 3:02 am

    Loved reading this so different to any blog post i’ve seen and really made me think!!


  • Reply
    June 25, 2016 at 9:44 am

    Great post Paula! Thanks for sharing such a personal side with us all. I know it must have taken a lot for you to really take the time and to share such details, but I know it will help a lot of us who suffer from depression/anxiety and other mental health problems especially in relation with being a perfectionist too. It’s much more easier said than done to change one’s whole state of mind, especially something so heavy and life hindering as being a perfectionist, so I really commend you and am in awe of you for having the strength and ability to do so! And I really understand your need to know how things are beforehand, I have a really bad anxiety disorder w/linked agoraphobia so you describing all that really is something I can understand! I’m hoping someday I can stop being a perfectionist but it’s so engrained in my personality and who I am that I fear that I’ll never really stop being one, along with other mental health things that I have going on. But posts like these help to keep a positive attitude! Hugs to you and thanks for a lovely post, beautiful :)


    • Reply
      Paula @
      June 26, 2016 at 12:24 pm

      Thank you Mika! This post wasn’t easy to write, but I’m happy I finally published it. You know, one thing that I love about blogging the most, is that I get to connect with people who share similar experiences. For the longest time ever, I thought that I was the only one who suffers from anxiety and I felt like no one could understand me. Like, when I tell someone “I’m feeling so anxious” they’d say “so stop feeling like that” haha wish it was that easy!!

      It is easier said than done, always. But I also think that it’s so important to remember that we’re all a work in progress. I find that meditation really helps to calm me down and clear my head. I really hope that one day I’ll be able to get rid of my anxiety for good. Hope the same for you Mika!! Thank you for such kind words, sending love!

  • Reply
    Aleksandra // bunniesaremagic
    June 25, 2016 at 2:50 pm

    I always ask my boyfriend to tell me when to stop – I don’t trust myself as for me nothing is ever good enough, he is way more sober about it, which I guess makes him my perfectionism coach ;)

    • Reply
      Paula @
      June 26, 2016 at 12:25 pm

      I ask my husband to do the same, but I never listen to him when he tells me to relax or take a break. I’m very, VERY stubborn haha :)

  • Reply
    June 25, 2016 at 3:39 pm

    Beautifully written Paula! after reading this I can definitely say you are my twin sister. I am a control freak too. For example, If I have something planned and for some reason it doesn’t turn out the way I wanted it to be, then whoa I go back there (thanks to my short tempered nature) but I am learning to let go of things and enjoy every moment (Thanks to my mediatation therapy every morning)

    • Reply
      Paula @
      June 26, 2016 at 12:28 pm

      Thank you Priyanka! I’m happy that you can relate to this post (well… not really “happy”- I’d much rather you didn’t feel like you need to control everything :) ). I love meditation too and I also have a short temper haha :) We might be twin sisters after all! :)

  • Reply
    Rebecca Fletcher
    June 25, 2016 at 4:52 pm

    This is such a great post. I definitely needed to read this right now! Xx

  • Reply
    Paula Loreti
    June 25, 2016 at 7:05 pm

    I love the concept of this! What you wrote really brought me to tears. Thanks forthis post :)♥

  • Reply
    Kiss & Make-up
    June 26, 2016 at 5:09 am

    I feel like you and I are very alike. The way you describe your perfectionism and need to always know and plan everything into the tiniest details? I can relate.

  • Reply
    Marina Laduda
    June 26, 2016 at 10:55 am

    Great post! There’s no such thing as perfection <3

  • Reply
    June 26, 2016 at 11:24 am

    Gosh this is an amazing post! I’m still going through this process and struggle quite a lot but I’m trying my best not to be perfect all of the time. It’s just so exhausting!

    Lizzie Bee //

  • Reply
    Dagmara Klich
    June 26, 2016 at 12:52 pm

    I used to be perfectionist but then I realised that I can’t be perfect at everything and don’t want to feel miserable because of that and let go of that feeling. It wasn’t easy but much needed and I feel much more happier now. x

    Mummy’s Beauty Corner

    • Reply
      Paula @
      June 26, 2016 at 1:09 pm

      Yes, it’s not easy at all and it takes some work, but it’s definitely possible to learn to let go of that need to perfect at all times. xx

  • Reply
    June 26, 2016 at 3:01 pm

    I looooove your blogpost! I can relate to it so easily! x

  • Reply
    Tiffany Tales
    June 26, 2016 at 4:03 pm

    Amazing post! I totally get where you’re coming from with the need to know everything. I’m exactly the same.

    Tiffany Tales – A British Beauty & Lifestyle Blog

  • Reply
    June 27, 2016 at 7:22 am

    Amazing! Love this post! xx

  • Reply
    June 27, 2016 at 10:07 am

    I get this so well, because I struggle with so many similar issues. I’ve gotten so much better than how I used to be, but I t think the struggle to be perfect will always be in the back of my mind. This post is amazing! So inspirational and it definitely helps to take in your points and adapt them to my life… You never fail to make me feel a bit better when I read your posts lovely! x

    Beauty with charm

  • Reply
    Mikéla Davelyn
    June 27, 2016 at 11:46 am

    This was such a lovely read! I suffer with high anxiety levels a large amount of the time, so thanks for the encouragement!

    Hope you have a lovely week!

    xo, mikéla /

  • Reply
    Marlene Guevara
    June 27, 2016 at 4:52 pm

    I really enjoyed reading this! I kept reading and just thinking to myself “OMG that is so true!” I’m that way, and like you, I also started off a business one day after waiting for years to start it because I didn’t have everything I wanted. I’m learning as I go now! :)

    • Reply
      Paula @
      June 29, 2016 at 8:22 am

      Thank you Marlene! Go you for starting off a business after years of waiting, that’s awesome!! I love that. :)

  • Reply
    Amber Whitehouse
    June 27, 2016 at 5:05 pm

    Wonderful blog post and so inspiring for your readers. Love that you are down to earth, literally felt like I was chatting to you! x

  • Reply
    Gemma Louise
    June 27, 2016 at 5:11 pm

    Very lovely post to read. I’m a fellow anxiety sufferer and completely get the whole idea of needing to be perfect! I’ve found the more you do and get on with, the easier it gets. My anxiety isn’t half as bad as it was a couple of years ago. I used to always be waiting for things to get better, and then I stopped and just got on with my life and they got better on their own so I can totally relate :)

    Just Little Things

    • Reply
      Paula @
      June 29, 2016 at 8:34 am

      Thanks Gemma! Yes, mine is MUCH better now, too. I’d never think think that I’d be able to cope with it. So happy to know that your anxiety is better these days!

  • Reply
    Candice Petersen
    June 28, 2016 at 7:50 am

    Thank you for sharing these tips!

    Candice | Beauty Candy Loves

  • Reply
    June 28, 2016 at 4:14 pm

    This post really hit home… sometimes people think I’m difficult or cold but really I’m anxious esp. when I’m out of my comfort zone – it’s a real struggle to just relax and go with the flow.

    A lot of this is very relatable! Keep up the good work on your blog :)

    – Lubna | The Digital Review

    • Reply
      Paula @
      June 29, 2016 at 8:38 am

      Haha yes, I can’t tell you how many people told me they thought I was really mean and bitchy before they got to know me. Thanks so much Lubna!

  • Reply
    Tess_Sequins are the New Black
    June 30, 2016 at 9:50 am

    I hate to admit I just went through the “ill get to it when..” trap #oops. Thanks for sharing this, so helpful!!

    have a great holiday weekend!!
    xox | Tess
    Sequins are the New Black

  • Reply
    June 30, 2016 at 12:47 pm

    There is so much I can relate to you. My husband always say I might come across as a total snob, and people might think of me as a air headed person. Because I’m so uncomfortable around new people and always am conscious about making a fool of myself infront of them, that I always have a straight face.
    I remember one of my aunt’s saying to one of our relative that I look very reserved and self absorbed types but once I’m comfortable around people I’m a totally different person haha, I was happy yet conscious about being such a freak lol..

    Sam || Beautydetour

  • Reply
    Lipstick LupusMommy
    June 30, 2016 at 5:30 pm

    A close friend and I had a talk about this many years ago. She’s the more organized perfectionist like you where I fall into the category I start things and don’t finish because it didn’t turn out to my expectations. I never thought of myself as a perfectionist but the more we shared our anxieties it made sense. Society puts that pressure on us now more than ever. I completely agree about surrounding yourself around positive people, for me that is my church family and friends helping me focus on God and knowing how loved I am. Love this post!

    • Reply
      Paula @
      July 5, 2016 at 9:44 pm

      Oh definitely, perfectionism shows in different ways! I think that surrounding yourself with positive people really is essential :) So glad you liked this post, thank you for visiting!

  • Reply
    Rebecca Goldsack Smith
    August 10, 2016 at 8:42 am

    I’m starting my blog for about the 5th time because I get frustrated and give up when I don’t immediately get hundreds of followers and my photos don’t turn out perfectly ;)

    I’ve learned that just gritting my teeth and writing *something* makes me feel a whole lot better…I am trying to let go of perfectionism but as you say- it’s hard! xxx

    • Reply
      Paula @
      August 8, 2017 at 11:45 am

      It’s hard, but it doesn’t mean it can’t be done :) Giving up is much easier, but pushing through is rewarding and it’s the only way to make a difference :)

  • Reply
    The Makeup Feed
    August 8, 2017 at 8:59 pm

    I truly enjoyed this post! I always want me blog to be perfect, and nothing is every good enough. I’ll be coming back to this post a lot!

    xx, The Makeup Feed

  • Reply
    August 8, 2017 at 9:10 pm

    As we’ve both spoken before about this, being a perfectionist is so debilitating and extremely damaging. I’m so glad that you’ve been able to come to the point in accepting and being able to change. I’m the kind of perfectionist that strives for everything to be as perfect as I imagine it but it always falls flat. I’m never able to achieve my desired end while comparing myself to others which further makes it more difficult. I’ve had to stop things because I would realize that what I was doing will never be what I want it to so I might as well give up and get myself away from toxicity. I’ve found that there are those who are perfectionists but they have reached true perfection with everything (although I’m, of course, seeing it through my own eyes and not theirs), so it’s frustrating for me to see people like that but the only person I can blame is myself and others are not deserving of any negativity. We all have things we have to deal with on our own and I can just hope that relief comes to those who are like me suffering and living with a mind that tells them they are never enough.

    I also had no idea that you had a recent injury happen, I hope that you’re okay Paula! Sending all my love your way.


    • Reply
      Paula @
      August 8, 2017 at 9:25 pm

      It is such a difficult thing to deal with- I can relate to not doing things or stopping things I really wanted to do, because it felt like I just wasn’t good enough at them, even sometimes feeling stupid for trying. I can assure you that no one’s perfect, even if they seem to be so on the outside. I think that unless someone just has that mindset, that everything needs to absolutely perfect, flawless, they’ll never understand what it’s like to struggle with it. I really hope you’ll find some peace Mika and will get to see how talented you are- I can 100% understand why you feel the way you do, but I truly think you’re just so amazing and I’ve always admired your talent and your wisdom.

      It’s so funny that you stopped by here, because I was just thinking about you yesterday when I noticed that you were gone from Instagram. I really hope that you’re doing okay, remember that I’m always just an email away if you ever need anything!

      Thank you for your kind words, I had a car accident over a month ago and I’m slowly recovering (or trying to, heh:) ) Sending love right back at you and remember that I’m thinking of you, always here for you if need anything! Mean it! xxxx

  • Reply
    Nikita Rajkumar
    August 8, 2017 at 11:13 pm

    I can relate so much! I always want things to be perfect whether that’s things in my life, school or blog related stuff. It’s hard to accept it, but even once you have, it’s hard to deal with the fact that things will not always be perfect in life. I find it hard to accept that. The fact that you can’t control everything is beyond me and it makes me feel so anxious. Thanks for sharing Paula. I hope you’re okay xx Nikita

    BLOG//Jasmine Loves

    • Reply
      Paula @
      August 10, 2017 at 8:34 am

      I think it’s just something that never truly goes away, but it can definitely be managed. It just takes a lot of patience hehe :) Thank you, Love!

  • Reply
    Genevieve Cordery
    August 8, 2017 at 11:26 pm

    Waiting for perfection could seriously take a life time, and even then, there is no way to guarantee that you will ever find it. I love this post!!

    Genevieve |

  • Reply
    August 9, 2017 at 3:02 am

    What a great post Paula – I can really relate to this as I have always been a perfectionist, most likely related to anxiety. It’s something I’m getting much better at dealing with now. I totally agree with the things you’ve discussed here – such great advice x

    Jenny | LuxeStyle

  • Reply
    Aleksandra // bunniesaremagic
    August 9, 2017 at 3:28 am

    Perfectionism is probably the biggest ‘flaw’ we both share and I am so happy to hear that you are learning to get it under control – very proud of you! Mine still comes and goes, if such a thing can ever truly go, but it is definitely there to ruin my fun. It found it’s new way of manifesting – recently I started obsessing over whether I have tired myself while exercising enough. Seriously. I am not making any of that up. My brain is worried if I am out of breath enough and if my muscles feel strained enough.
    So yeah, it’s still a long run for me.
    On a side note, I think we weirdly mentally synched on topics this week; I have a post going live today talking a bit on my perfectionism, so yeah, just on time, Paula! :)

    • Reply
      Paula @
      August 10, 2017 at 8:38 am

      Thank you so much, Alex! I agree- I don’t think that it’s something that ever goes away, completely. Haha omg I’m the same with working out sometimes- I can never break a sweat, no matter how intense the workout is, and I always get frustrated about that- so silly! Ahh You know, great minds ;) hehe :)

  • Reply
    Madison Grace
    August 9, 2017 at 3:46 am

    Girl, I can relate. I’m a chronic perfectionist, and it’s actually become a form of procrastination, because it makes me not start things, because I’m afraid they won’t be perfect. Damn it gets in the way of things! But I think that you can channel into something good, as long as it doesn’t rule your life.

    mads xx

    MY BLOG:

    • Reply
      Paula @
      August 10, 2017 at 9:00 am

      I didn’t realize how much perfectionism has to do with procrastination until recent years. They both go hand in hand and perfectionism is so often used as a form of excuse.

  • Reply
    Linda Libra Loca
    August 9, 2017 at 5:35 am

    I am a perfectionist, but having kids made me surrender. You just can’t control everything when they are involved, so it was either go crazy or let go.

    Linda, Libra, Loca: Beauty, Baby and Backpacking

    • Reply
      Paula @
      August 10, 2017 at 8:39 am

      I can imagine that having kids changes that. I’m obsessed with having a clean house and keeping everything clean and everyone always tells me “wait until you have kids, you won’t even care” haha :)

      • Reply
        Linda Libra Loca
        August 12, 2017 at 9:01 am

        Not entirely true, I still care, but I just realized that no matter how much I clean throughout the day, they will nod it. So we clean together right before bed and I don´t stress out throughout the day.

  • Reply
    August 9, 2017 at 6:15 am

    I really enjoyed this post. I struggle with a lot of what you’ve mentioned, especially the anxiety. Working in on trying not to let it hold me back! ps – are you a virgo?! you sound like one! (i am lol) Janah xx

    • Reply
      Paula @
      August 10, 2017 at 8:41 am

      Sorry to hear you struggle with these things- anxiety can be so crippling. Ahh no, Aries :) But this isn’t the first time I get asked if I’m a Virgo! haha :)

  • Reply
    Asaake |
    August 9, 2017 at 7:42 am

    I am a perfectionist. I started calling myself s recovering perfectionism to help me actually focus on not being perfect. For the longest time I’d tell myself that I’m not a perfectionist, im just particular about things. lol “same difference” like my friends would say. It truly is crippling. But I’m working on it! Thanks for this post, Paula.

    • Reply
      Paula @
      August 10, 2017 at 8:42 am

      Recovering perfectionist- love that! Makes so much sense to call yourself that. I might steal this idea! :)

      • Reply
        Asaake |
        August 10, 2017 at 11:25 am

        Haha. Sure. It helps. Cos when you seek out perfection, you remember that you’re chasing after something you’re recovering from. Acts as a deterrent for me on most days

  • Reply
    Frances Kayleigh
    August 9, 2017 at 8:13 am

    I totally get you about the photography thing! It is so frustrating when you see everyones beautiful photos and your just aren’t turning out how you want them too! I need so much practice still xx

    Frances Kayleigh | Style Beauty Travel

    • Reply
      Paula @
      August 10, 2017 at 8:43 am

      I think that was one of the most frustrating parts of starting a blog- I just didn’t post if I didn’t have good photos, and could literally spend an entire day taking and deleting photos.

  • Reply
    August 9, 2017 at 8:26 am

    I think the word that stood out to me in the early part of this post was “paralyzing.” I feel paralyzed in doing things because they won’t be perfect. I know my pictures are getting better, but they’re not precisely how I imagine them. Of course, Instagram’s compression algorithm doesn’t help when I am obsessive over color noise. But I can’t even celebrate little achievements or pat myself on the back, because I wasn’t perfect.

    Great post as always, and thank you for the tips!

    Jenn │ Beauty by Jelly Bean

    • Reply
      Paula @
      August 10, 2017 at 8:58 am

      I totally understand, Jenn (even though I can’t imagine your photos getting more stunning than they already are), but I get it. I could waste an entire day taking and editing photos, and still delete all of them at the end of the day- it gets so exhausting. I think celebrating small victories is SO important, because we very rarely take time to appreciate how far we’ve come and we often forget things we had to overcome.

  • Reply
    August 13, 2017 at 3:29 pm

    I can relate so much! I am definitely an all-or-nothing type of person. I’ve been trying to change that recently, knowing that a little bit is better than nothing. I have been the person you described: eating well until one bad moment, and then having a massive unhealthy binge, for lack of a better word.
    I am actually reading a book at the moment about anxiety – it’s called the DARE Response – but I can relate so much of that onto a lot of other feelings at the moment, and I’m hoping that might help me be a bit less of a perfectionist (or rather help me deal with my perfectionism!)
    Rebecca ♥

    • Reply
      Paula @
      August 18, 2017 at 10:37 am

      Small progress, small changes, still count! It’s not something that ever goes away, but learning to let go, even if just a little bit, can feel SO good. Wish you best of luck on your road to “recovering” from perfectionism, sounds like you’re doing well so far- I think the fact that you already realize that it’s a bit of an issue is a great start. We often go years, without realizing how limiting some of our habits are! :)

  • Reply
    August 16, 2017 at 4:42 am

    Oh my gosh. I can relate to this so much. I’m such a perfectionist in so many things. It’s frustrating and totally gets in my way all the time. I’m trying so hard to nip any sign of it in the bud as soon as possible. Practice makes perfect I guess. It’s a process but such a necessary one.

    Sarah |

    • Reply
      Paula @
      August 18, 2017 at 10:38 am

      Frustrating is a perfect way to describe the way it feels sometimes. It’s definitely a process and while it’s something that perhaps never truly goes away, small changes can help a lot, too. x

  • Reply
    April 2, 2018 at 3:57 pm

    I have never related to a blog post SO much. This was really eye opening for me. I feel like I’m going through the EXACT things you mentioned in this which is why my blog has been redone so many times and I’m never consistent with it. Ugh. I have to stop getting in my own way.

    Thank you!

  • Reply
    sounds like idil
    June 19, 2018 at 6:12 am

    I unfortunately am such a perfectionist. I have only recently realized that it is only holding me back and “done” is better than “perfect”. Such an helpful post!

    i.b. |

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