Lifestyle self-growth

How to Quiet Your Mind and Regain Balance

Okay… so I secretly despise the word “balance.” I mean, what does that even mean, to have “balance” in your life?

It’s one of those buzzwords that we love to throw around, pretending we all have (or want to have) our shit together, 24/7.

No.

We (well… at least, most of us) don’t have our shit together, all the time. Things go wrong, we get angry, frustrated, overwhelmed, lost, things come up… and we often just feel this need to have everything figured out. You see someone else juggling work, family, school, home life, whatever, in this seemingly effortless fashion and you start feeling inadequate.

That secret formula which you can use to make everything work out smoothly? Well, it just doesn’t exist.

Yes, there are tools that help you stay organized, calm, less-stressed, more peaceful, but the truth is, you sometimes just can’t help but feel… like you need to quiet your mind a little.

Don’t you sometimes wish, that you could stop listening to your brain?

I mean, just for a little bit. Like on those days when you get in your bed at the end of the day, and instead of unwinding you keep re-living your day, you worry about getting things done on time.

Then, all of a sudden you remember something someone has said to you and next thing you know your mind is racing.

Sometimes I think that my mind is very much like my work desk; once in a while, I need to get rid of all the clutter that found its way inside. Thing is, cleaning up, organizing and de-cluttering my desk is much easier than quieting and de-cluttering my mind.

HOW TO QUIET YOUR MIND + REGAIN BALANCE

how-to-regain-balance-in-life

PRACTICE BEING PRESENT

I love using mindfulness bells to bring myself to a present moment, whenever I start feeling like I’m losing control. We’re often so distracted, we don’t realize what’s happening around us. I drop something, I hit my elbow or my knee, I see something sparkle or hear something beep around me- I use all of those things to bring me back to present moment. Whenever I see or hear them, I automatically think to myself “What am I thinking right now? Am I being present?“.

When you feel anxious or overwhelmed, those feelings can act as a domino effect. All of the sudden all you can think about is things going wrong, or not getting something done on time. That, in turn, makes you even more anxious and worried. The key is to catch those feelings as they come and to stop the pattern. Recognize them for what they are and then pause.

Take a deep breath, bring your mind to the present and focus on what you’re doing at that particular moment. This will take a lot of practice, at first. Reading this book is a great place to start if you want to learn how to practice being present.

BREAK OLD HABITS AND PATTERNS

Even some of your small habits can make a difference between living in chaos, and bring more “balance” to your life. Reaching for your phone while working, hitting the snooze button 5 times in a row every single morning, multitasking. Identify one of those small, thoughtless habits that don’t serve you, and break it.

Tackle one habit at a time, and don’t expect it to happen overnight, give yourself at least a couple of weeks. Change takes time, so don’t try to change everything at once. Focus on one thing at a time.

SPEND MORE TIME ALONE

If you love working and staying busy and productive, then this might be a little difficult for you. However, it’s the best thing you can do for lowering your stress levels and anxiety. I know that when you feel anxious or worried, your first instinct is to distract yourself. To bring even more noise into the equation. Being alone with your thoughts can be intimidating and a little scary.

Notice those thoughts and feelings as they come, acknowledge them, don’t resist them. As you acknowledge them, don’t say: “I am feeling so overwhelmed” but instead say: “I have the thought of feeling overwhelmed“. This will let you detach a little from those feelings. Then, get a little quiet. Try yoga or meditating, go for a walk; journal or find the time to just be still for a couple of minutes a day.

SIMPLIFY

Automate what you can and cut back on any activities that don’t bring you joy or are unproductive and are wasting your precious time. Not putting things away right away, “window’ shopping online for hours, complaining, gossiping, procrastinating, being stuck on Facebook all day-all of these are time-wasters. Re-prioritize, re-evaluate; ask yourself if a particular activity or relationship brings you joy or if it improves your life, in any other way.  Once you simplify your life and cut out those distractions, you’ll be surprised at how much more productive you’ll become and how much time you’ll have.

Here’s the most important part: you have to make these practices a daily habit. Have a little daily catch-up with yourself. Don’t let those stressful or negative emotions build up. Don’t wait until your mind becomes too “messy” with distractions.

Learn to look past judgmental thoughts and remember that you don’t have to have everything figured out and that shouldn’t stop you from feeling peaceful and calm. You have a lot more control over your life than you sometimes think. 

18 Comments

  • Reply
    yuki motokane
    November 20, 2017 at 4:25 am

    I really agree about us having more control in our life than we think so. Like you said, we shouldn’t wait for everything to build up but start little by little and start doing the practices you’ve mentioned. One of my favorites from this post is ‘Spend more time alone’, sometimes we have to separate ourselves from people who give us stress or even things that fill our thoughts too much. This was a really lovely read!

    yuki, solivagantic

    • Reply
      Paula @ thirteenthoughts.com
      November 21, 2017 at 12:07 am

      Thank you so much, Yuki! I think that it’s very easy for us to feel like things are beyond our control in life. Sometimes, some things really are, and that’s okay. We can, however, control the way we react to things, and that can make a huge difference.

  • Reply
    Linda Libra Loca
    November 20, 2017 at 5:15 am

    I agree, balance is such a buzz word and sometimes just adds to the pressure of things we have to tick off our list to have a worthy day. But when used right and practiced carefully, balance can improve the quality of your days a lot.

    Anne – Linda, Libra, Loca

    • Reply
      Paula @ thirteenthoughts.com
      November 21, 2017 at 12:12 am

      The whole “having a balance” thing became this strange obsession and I see a lot of people around me freak out the minute things go wrong, and I fell into that trap myself. Sometimes things go wrong, it’s not the end of the world, it’s just life. Nothing wrong with constant growth, but small setbacks are just a part of life- which is something so many of us find difficult to accept.

  • Reply
    Yvonne Ashon
    November 20, 2017 at 9:18 am

    This post is timely. I reached my breaking point last night, and I said enough is enough. Time for a change. I have been complacent for far too long, and it’s really not healthy. We gotta to move out of our comfort zone.

    http://www.yourbeautypantry.com

    • Reply
      Paula @ thirteenthoughts.com
      November 21, 2017 at 12:44 am

      Aww, Yvonne, I’m so happy that you are strong enough to let yourself know when enough is enough. Making small changes is a great way to grow. x

  • Reply
    Aleksandra // bunniesaremagic
    November 20, 2017 at 10:26 am

    All of these advice are great, as always!

  • Reply
    Hannah
    November 20, 2017 at 2:02 pm

    This is such important advice for anyone’s mental wellbeing!

    Hannah | Wild At Heart

  • Reply
    Natalie Redman
    November 20, 2017 at 2:55 pm

    Great advice!

    http://www.upyourvlog.com

  • Reply
    Katrina Torrijos
    November 20, 2017 at 4:13 pm

    I feel like my mind has been very cluttered lately with managing my blog, social media, youtube channel, and working. Your post really helped me to relax, chill out, and take things day by day. Thank you!

    • Reply
      Paula @ thirteenthoughts.com
      November 21, 2017 at 12:46 am

      I can totally relate, Katrina! Lately I’ve been having these days when I don’t even feel like myself and it’s something that’s been weighing me down. It’s so important to know when to slow down, and start with one thing at a time. It makes me so happy to know that this post helped you a bit, you have no idea! Thank you so much for taking the time to read!

  • Reply
    Elizabeth Apps
    November 20, 2017 at 4:48 pm

    these things I need to practice so much more, I love the ides of mindfulness bells I need these definitely xx
    http://www.pagesfrombeth.co.uk

    • Reply
      Paula @ thirteenthoughts.com
      November 21, 2017 at 12:46 am

      Mindfulness made such a difference for me, especially with regular practice, it can transform your life and the way you look at things.

  • Reply
    Arianna McGuire
    November 20, 2017 at 11:45 pm

    I’m so grateful to have found your blog! Your posts and advice have been so helpful with getting me through this transitional faze in my life. I admire your blog and I hope to one day inspire those reading mine as well. Blessings to you Paula.

    • Reply
      Paula @ thirteenthoughts.com
      November 21, 2017 at 12:48 am

      Aww, Arianna, my Love, thank you SO much! This means the absolute world to me, it truly does. Knowing that reading this post helped you a little makes me so happy and I’m sending all my love your way!! <3

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