There is something very powerful behind the words “I am.”
Whenever you say to yourself “I am…,” what follows is influential; whatever follows is an affirmation, something you eventually begin to believe in. Do you ever find yourself thinking “I am so stupid for doing that,” “I am so tired of all of this,” or “I am not good enough?” Thoughts like these seem to come very easy, especially on those days when you might be feeling down about yourself or when some things in your life that aren’t going as planned.
The thing about life is that not everything always goes as planned and things life failure, mistakes and disappointment will happen. Here are five things to tell yourself when life gets the best of you.
5 THINGS TO TELL YOURSELF WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN
I AM WONDERFUL AND UNIQUE, NOTHING CAN REPLACE ME
Some of those thoughts or statements about ourselves are ones we hold subconsciously. We’re not always fully aware of them or the power they carry. It’s very easy to feel small, inadequate or simply disappointed with yourself when you’re having a bad day or when nothing seems to go your way.
Whenever you say “I am,” especially when feeling down or upset, try to remind yourself how wonderful and unique you are. This is not about conceit. It’s not about being too “into yourself” or thinking that you are better than someone else. No, it’s about knowing how to take care of yourself, about practicing thinking of yourself in a positive way and pushing yourself to keep going on those days when you don’t really feel like it. It’s about knowing your worth and not comparing yourself to other people. We all have something very different and unique to offer to the world- we often forget about that.
I FORGIVE MY NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
Everyone has them. Some of us tend to spend hours or even days ruminating on the negative things in our lives and then, we usually get upset with ourselves for being so negative. Learn to forgive your negative thoughts, instead of beating yourself up over them. Instead of trying to stop negative thoughts from occurring, shift your focus to the good things in your life. Let go of your negative thoughts without judgment. Remind yourself that things never end up being as bad as you imagine or make them out to be.
Know those negative thoughts have their purpose too. If we didn’t have negative thoughts, we’d have no idea how good it feels to have good, happy thoughts. When you feel yourself getting upset over something, it’s important to not try to stop those negative feelings from flowing, but allow yourself to feel them and let them go. Practicing mindfulness can help you change the way your negative thoughts affect you. It will help you see that you are not “not good enough,” but that you’re simply having a thought of not being good enough. Those thoughts are not your truth, they’re not your reality, they’re just that, “thoughts.”
I LOVE MYSELF UNCONDITIONALLY, RIGHT NOW
This, I borrowed from wonderful Louise Hay, but replaced “accept” with “love.” The word “accept” is something that comes to my mind when I think of tolerating or simply recognizing someone. To “love” someone, on the other hand, means to care very deeply for them.
Just how many times do we find ourselves saying “I will be happy when I get a better job“; “I will be happy when I find love;” “I will be happy when I move out of my parents’ house” “I will be happy when I lose those last five pounds?“
Keep saying things like this to yourself, and you risk spending your entire life waiting, searching for that happiness. Be happy now, love yourself right now. Keep telling yourself “I love myself unconditionally, right now.” Not when you fit into your skinny jeans again or when you finally find love or success. RIGHT NOW. Look in the mirror and say it again: “I love myself unconditionally, right now.” Most likely, your mind will immediately try to convince you otherwise. You’ll notice negative thoughts come up, you will start thinking about all the things you don’t like about yourself, all the things that didn’t go right, the mistakes you’ve made. That’s okay. The next day, tell yourself the same thing: “I love myself unconditionally, right now.” And again, and again. Every day, until you finally believe it.
Just as you have to exercise on a regular basis to notice results, to get stronger, shifting your mindset works around the very same principle. It’s just like a muscle- you have to put in the work to strengthen and improve it.
I TRUST MY INNER WISDOM
Doubt is one of those things that often very easily finds its way into our lives. You feel it every time you’re about to make a tough decision. Other times you allow the noise from the outside world to cloud your inner wisdom. Even if you have the best support system surrounding you, someone you love might leave you feeling discouraged. Intentional or not, sometimes it just happens.
There’s this exciting change happening in your life; a decision you’ve made, an idea you have and wholeheartedly believe in. You share it with someone close only to discover that they’re not only unsupportive of your choice or decision, but they also try to discourage you from pursuing those goals. Other times you might start doubting yourself despite the fact that things are going well. Maybe you’re just having a bad day and you’re feeling down? That alone can sometimes be enough for doubt to start creeping in. Regardless of what your friends, family, and even you sometimes may think, somewhere deep inside, you usually know what’s best for you. If it feels right, if it sets your soul on fire, if it makes you feel excited for the future, joyful, happy, hopeful, then you just have to go for it. Trust yourself and your inner wisdom, even when those close to you don’t always trust your decisions. Even when you, yourself, start having doubts. Doubt will always be a part of your life, and it’s up to you to decide whether you believe it and allow it to overwhelm you, or move past it and trust yourself and that inner wisdom.
I AM IN COMPLETE CHARGE OF MY LIFE
Sometimes things spin out of control. Sometimes you find yourself opening your eyes in the morning and wanting to close them again, wishing you could just “switch off” for a few days. Well, the truth is that people will disappoint you. Things won’t always go your way. You will not always be able to control things that happen to you. Realizing that you can’t have control over everything that happens to you can be a difficult thing to accept. You have to remember that despite all that, you are in complete charge of your life. You are in charge of your attitude, your thoughts, and beliefs, and most importantly, your actions.
When you were a baby, trying to learn how to walk, you stood up and fell down hundreds of times. Yet it never occurred to you to stop trying. The same idea should apply to your life now. You may not have control over things or people who bring you down sometimes, but it’s up to you to stand up, time and time again. You are in complete charge of your life. You are in charge of the way you talk to yourself, the way you react- even when you can’t always control everything that happens to you.