Lifestyle self-growth

7 Small Habits that Steal Your Happiness

7 Habits that Steal Your Happiness

7 Habits that Steal Your Happiness

All the time, we say that all we want is to be “happy” but what is “happy” anyway?

Is happiness something that suddenly appears when things fall into place, or is it something that happens every day?

Well, let’s put it this way: when you feel it, you know it. It’s the feeling you get when someone you love smiles at you, it’s the feeling when you’re sitting in your living room reading a book on a rainy day, it’s the feeling of killing it at work. Happiness means different things to all of us. Happiness is also something we often overcomplicate.

The key to happiness is in the things we do every day. It’s not some magical land only attainable to few of us. It’s our daily habits which can either make us miserable or fill our life with more joy, more laughs, love, and gratitude. Happiness is something you create, not something that comes in those fleeting moments that are few and far between.


7 Habits that Steal Your Happiness


Walking away from a relationship is almost never easy. It’s even more difficult when you care a lot about the other person, but their actions hurt you and they, on the other hand, don’t seem to care at all. Any and all relationships should be a two-way thing. If all you do is give, and receive nothing in return, other than hurt, emotional dumping, pain, and frustration, it’s time to move on. As difficult and heartbreaking as this can be at times, it can also be one of the best things you will do for yourself.

Re-evaluate your relationships and do not be afraid to edit your life relentlessly. Happiness is being able to share things like your small victories, with someone you love, someone who gets just as excited about those things as you do- so choose wisely.


Not everything is about you and not everyone has to like you. Just because someone gave you a bit of an attitude at a grocery store doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. Maybe the sole reason why people sometimes tend to be rude or short with you, is just because they’re having a crappy day? And if someone does make you feel like you did or said something wrong? Well, don’t overthink that shit; don’t allow other people dictate how you feel. A lesson I had to learn the hard way, but it’s the truth. You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s totally fine.


Are the things you talk about aligning with your goals and dreams? For some strange reason, we tend to talk about things we don’t want, more than we talk about things we do want. Pay attention to what you say. Talk more about the things you love, the things you want, the things you find beautiful, wholesome or inspiring.

Don’t fall into the trap of constantly discussing everything that’s negative around us. Don’t talk about things you don’t want to happen to you.


Ahh, yes. I once wrote that if my life had a theme song, the title would most likely be “not good enough.” Learn to guard your speech– this includes your inner monologues. If you had a bad day, didn’t get something done on time, learn to forgive yourself. Do not put yourself down for every little thing that doesn’t go your way. If at the end of the day you did at least one small thing, took one small step that will bring you closer to your goals, you’re closer to achieving them.


Putting things off until the “perfect moment” is a load of crap. You know why?

Because no such moment exists.

I know people who spend their entire lives waiting to start living. Year after year, goals and dreams are unmet and that’s exactly what they remain: just dreams. If there’s something you’ve always wanted to try or do, go out and do it. If it requires funds you don’t have, read everything you can about it first. Take small steps, but don’t stand still.

Don’t let another year pass where, yet again, you realize time went by and you didn’t get to do any of the things you wanted to try.

Don’t have “zero” days. If today, you can only allow yourself or afford to take just one small single step, one small action that will move you forward, you’re one step closer than you were the day before.


This is one of those things that we talked about when discussing learning to flow with life. We hold on to worries, past failures, we fear change- all those things are a part of life and sometimes, they don’t come without pain or feelings of discomfort.

Don’t put your energy into things that feed your fear or worry. Learn to accept challenges for what they are, instead of reacting with anger and fear. Learn to flow and stop resisting. Yes, sometimes things “happen to you” and you might find yourself asking “why me?” Well, you’re not the only one whom “things” happen to from time to time. These challenges help you grow and learn; they help you see just how strong you are. Don’t let fear and needless worry take over; know that you’re much stronger and braver than you give yourself credit for.


You cannot continue to write your own story when you’re constantly busy following someone else’s. Whenever you compare yourself to others, you’re failing to be fair to yourself. You look past your own achievements and even if you think that some things in your life are “okay,” you’re guessing that someone else’s must be better.

How do we know that?

We guess. We often don’t see the whole picture, so we fill in those blanks ourselves.

So, we assume.

Here’s something to remember: comparisons add no value to your life. Instead, try practicing appreciation. I know that it’s not always easy, but when you see someone doing something you’ve always dreamed of, or achieving goals similar to yours, think of it as a proof. Proof, that it can be done. Let that inspire you instead of feeling discouraged.

Don’t listen when the world tells you that you’re “too old” to try something new, or that it’s “too late” for you to do something incredible with your life or even make a small change. Regardless of where you find yourself at the moment, remember that there are still so many beautiful moments ahead. There are places to visit, people to meet, passions to discover, books to read, skills to develop. Pay attention to those small habits that steal your happiness and do more things you love. 


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  • Reply
    April 6, 2018 at 9:42 pm

    Putting oneself down and worrying/fearing about lots of things definitely destroy happiness! Even if we think we don’t do these things I’m sure at one point or another we do just that, its recognizing when we are doing them and snapping ourselves out of it – that is the tricky part.

  • Reply
    Kelly Anne
    April 6, 2018 at 10:57 pm

    I think the comparison point is so important. The only person you should be comparing to yourself is you! That you’re getting further everyday and not becoming stagnant. Thank you for this great post!

    Kelly Anne xx

  • Reply
    Abigail Alice
    April 7, 2018 at 6:25 am

    Wow i agree so much with all of these! Letting go of toxic relationships has always been a difficult one for me, but once I let go of them I’ve really began to feel a lot more confident with myself.

    Abigail Alice x

    • Reply
      Paula @
      April 11, 2018 at 11:12 pm

      I think it’s definitely one of the most difficult things to do- so happy you were able to do just that Abigail and that you’re now more confident, that’s awesome!

  • Reply
    Lisa Santos
    April 7, 2018 at 9:33 am

    Being able to let go those toxic relationships and negative people is the best thing someone can do. I have done it and never felt so good with myself. Those toxic people bring toxic thoughts, sadness and maybe even low self-esteem to our life and we for sure don’t need any of that.

    Blog: The Lisa’s World | Instagram | Twitter

    • Reply
      Paula @
      April 11, 2018 at 11:13 pm

      Yes! I didn’t realize how much those relationships can affect us, until I really started paying attention to those negative patterns. x

  • Reply
    Leigh Brady
    April 7, 2018 at 10:51 am

    I do so many of these and I know that they’re bad, I’m going to try my best to combat them after realising how toxic they are for you!


    • Reply
      Paula @
      April 11, 2018 at 11:14 pm

      I think we’re all a bit guilty of all of these :) I find that focusing on one thing at a time helps out a lot and makes things a bit easier.

  • Reply
    Danielle Alexa
    April 7, 2018 at 12:08 pm

    I completely agree with so many of these points, especially the holding onto toxic relationships!

    Danielle xx

  • Reply
    April 7, 2018 at 1:51 pm

    Moving forward, step by step, day by day is key.

  • Reply
    Zoë Ware
    April 7, 2018 at 4:22 pm

    Guilty of ALL OF THEM. Honestly I really need to break these habits, because it gets so bad! Definitely agree with everything you said! Love this post! xx

  • Reply
    Jen Lawrence
    April 7, 2018 at 4:44 pm

    Love this! Great advice.

  • Reply
    Minette Grocott Hare
    April 7, 2018 at 4:45 pm

    This is just what I needed to read this morning. Thank you it helped me see that I’ve been guilty of a couple of these & that I can make changes.

  • Reply
    April 7, 2018 at 6:45 pm

    Totally agree with all of these. If only they were easy to stop doing, eh? I am definitely guilty of quite a few of these.

    Sincerely, Sarah xx

  • Reply
    April 7, 2018 at 7:00 pm

    Yes, yes, and yes! I’ve been guilty of all of these. I know that waiting, taking things too personally, and comparing my journey to others’ has set me back countless times. Thank you for the reminder to better myself and essentially choose happiness. It IS a choice. We set ourselves up for personal success when we choose to be more intentional and joyful in our mentality!

    Rachel Chamberlayne |

    • Reply
      Paula @
      April 11, 2018 at 11:17 pm

      Love what you said about being more intentional, Rachel! It all starts with realizing just how much power we sometimes give to those small and sometimes really insignificant things. x

  • Reply
    April 7, 2018 at 11:58 pm

    How did you get so smart, Paula?

    Love ya!!!

    Jane x

  • Reply
    The December Dame
    April 8, 2018 at 4:51 am

    Comparison is honestly one of the worst things a person can do to themself! You should only compare yourself to your past self and see whether you’re going upwards or not!


  • Reply
    Anika May
    April 8, 2018 at 9:07 am

    Putting yourself down is such a terrible habit that so many of us have! Definitely need to beat that one!

    Anika |

  • Reply
    charlotte carter
    April 8, 2018 at 3:36 pm

    THIS post is everything!! Completely agree with everything!!

  • Reply
    Ella Jalley
    April 9, 2018 at 5:43 am

    I can relate so much to the ‘holding onto toxic relationships’, it really brings you down and sometimes it’s good to be selfish by distancing yourself! Really enjoyed this post! xx

    • Reply
      Paula @
      April 11, 2018 at 11:26 pm

      I had quite a few of these relationships and I remember how difficult letting go of them was- so worth it, though! Very happy you enjoyed this post, Ella!

  • Reply
    April 9, 2018 at 11:16 am

    Putting myself down is something I seem to do naturally! Slowly, I’m getting better at catching myself before it happens. x

    Kate Louise Blogs

    • Reply
      Paula @
      April 11, 2018 at 11:27 pm

      It’s definitely a process- so happy to hear you’re getting better at it, Kate!

    • Reply
      Jacob Lee Downey
      April 14, 2018 at 12:42 pm

      I’ve been trying to change 1 word. Instead of telling myself; “I’m so stupid”, I tell myself; “I’m so potential.” =]

  • Reply
    April 9, 2018 at 12:27 pm

    I used to do a lot of these all the time. 2017 was the year of getting rid of toxic people, This is the year of not waiting for the perfect moment any longer, and not taking things personally. I’ve done a lot of reading, so I already know that you’re not supposed to take things personally, but sometimes when you’re in the moment, it’s so much harder to not react. I’ve been working on it though! Great post Paula xxx

    Melina |

    • Reply
      Paula @
      April 11, 2018 at 11:20 pm

      So glad to hear you’ve been working on some of these, Melina, that’s awesome! I used to be the WORST when it came to taking things personally, it really sucked the energy out of me sometimes. It’s so important to remember that we’re all work in progress and that it’s never too late to make a change. Thank you so much for stopping by, Love!

  • Reply
    The Sunday Mode
    April 10, 2018 at 7:42 am

    Sometimes i feel like I need to hire you to be my personal life coach Paula :p The taking everything personally one is massive for me though because I do that all the bloody time and it is so frustrating.

    Julia // The Sunday Mode

    • Reply
      Paula @
      April 11, 2018 at 11:21 pm

      Naww haha, thank you so much, Julia!! That used to be a tough one for me too, I used to be the worst at it! It took some time, but I definitely learned to let go of taking things personally.

  • Reply
    April 11, 2018 at 3:59 am

    I love your posts so much. You’re such a kind person.

  • Reply
    Gallantly, gal
    April 11, 2018 at 1:42 pm

    This is such a great and necessary post! It’s important to work on each one.. I definitely need to work on the comparison trap and fear. All of them are issues for me, but those two I want to work on most. Thanks for sharing :)

  • Reply
    Author Brandi Kennedy
    April 12, 2018 at 2:56 pm

    This was such a great article, and I love that it points out how such simple things can have such big-picture impact on our lives. Comparison has always been a challenge for me, and in the last few years I’ve been working on finding the inspiration in the people who are where I want to be – to be motivated by their success and not discouraged by it. Life is a feast, not a famine, and there is goodness enough for everyone.

  • Reply
    Rainbow imagine
    April 12, 2018 at 12:47 pm

    I loved reading this post! These are all so true. Somebody once said to me that you have 3 groups of people. People who like/love you, people who don’t like you and people who are neutral. And that it’s impossible to have everyone like you.
    Recently i also stressed about the comparing yourself to others part. It’s such a NO! if you want to be happy.

  • Reply
    Rachel Dellaposta
    April 13, 2018 at 10:27 am

    All good points! Just recently got out of a toxic relationship, which helped me improve in all the other areas you mentioned as well. I’ve stopped putting myself down, taking things personally, and I’m working on not comparing myself, too. It’s funny how getting rid of one negative thing in your life helps you eliminate negativity from every other area of your life as well!

  • Reply
    Harald Baustad
    April 14, 2018 at 10:58 am

    How to react, when a young beauty continuously is writing sweet words, says she loves me, even if I poured some ice water into her veins………She has never shown any sign of wanting me as a sugar daddy…..Should I cut her off? What does she want?

  • Reply
    Jacob Lee Downey
    April 14, 2018 at 12:44 pm

    What a nice write up Paula. That was a pleasure to read.

  • Reply
    Rosa Fairfield
    April 14, 2018 at 2:10 pm

    I really enjoyed reading this. Sometimes I always feel like I’m waiting for something, instead of actually doing it.

  • Reply
    April 14, 2018 at 2:43 pm

    Excellent advice! I would add one more “habit” to the list, and that is “expectations”. They tend to be unreasonable and always lead to disappointment

  • Reply
    Iryna Fernandes
    April 14, 2018 at 2:53 pm

    Every sing habit here hit extremely near to my heart. I need to stop doing it!

    xoxo, I ||

  • Reply
    Tania van Zijl
    April 14, 2018 at 11:15 pm

    Great article especially loved “the waiting” part. There is only one moment and it’s definitely happening “now”.

  • Reply
    Sara Goodman
    April 15, 2018 at 5:14 am

    When applied, this could potentially be a life changing post for which I REALLY thank you. I just wondered, Paula, how to deal with people who get you down, who you can’t distance yourself from (close family members)? Have you any strategies?

    Thanks again for all your brilliant advice :)

    Sara x

  • Reply
    karen Crossan
    April 15, 2018 at 7:00 am

    Great post.

  • Reply
    April 15, 2018 at 5:09 pm

    This is amazing. I’ve read many posts about “happiness,” but you hit the bull’s eye with every one of these habits that steal it. Great post!

  • Reply
    Essex Hebridean
    April 16, 2018 at 4:32 am

    I love this – thanks Bloglovin for highlighting it in the email! I’ll add one to the list as well if I may – don’t be governed by the things you think you “should” do – decide if those things are goals you want for yourself, and if not, stop chasing after the next promotion, wearing skyscraper heels, or trying to be “minimalist” or whatever it may be – they might be right for some folk, but if they’re not right for you, time to let go, and you will be happier when you do.

  • Reply
    Natalie Redman
    April 16, 2018 at 7:04 am

    Yes! Comparing yourself to others just leads to a downward spiral. Whenever I feel myself comparing, I’ll stop myself and think of all the amazing things in my life.

  • Reply
    Ronel Janse van Vuuren
    April 16, 2018 at 8:47 am

    This post came at just the right time: especially the part about toxic relationships. It might be time to move on from several… Great post :-)

  • Reply
    April 22, 2018 at 5:52 am

    Fear is actually a sign you need to do something, in my opinion. You should move towards what you’re afraid of but think can open great possibilities for you.

  • Reply
    Neha Hemnani
    April 30, 2018 at 1:56 pm

    this really makes sense! it got me through some of the confusions i had in my head.. thanks!

  • Reply
    Neha Hemnani
    April 30, 2018 at 1:57 pm

    i always feel i’m doing the wrong things, i’m not good enough and basically i am stacked up with unhealthy emotions that affect me so much! this post will help.. thanks so much! please keep posting more of such articles. thanks!

  • Reply
    Natalie Redman
    May 27, 2018 at 12:46 pm

    Great post! All so true!

  • Reply
    Andrea Mazzola
    August 19, 2018 at 9:41 pm

    DEFINITELY agree we need to focus on what we do what- not what we don’t want! It’s amazing how just shifting your perspective can make a huge change!

  • Reply
    Des | itsbetterinheels
    September 29, 2018 at 8:10 pm

    I enjoyed this post. I firmly believe that the more positive you are, the more positive your surroundings become. I also agree with you about having good people around you. No need for the negative energy/thoughts around you! Lol.

    xx, Des |

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