All the time, we say that all we want is to be “happy” but what is “happy” anyway?
Is happiness something that suddenly appears when things fall into place, or is it something that happens every day?
Well, let’s put it this way: when you feel it, you know it. It’s the feeling you get when someone you love smiles at you, it’s the feeling when you’re sitting in your living room reading a book on a rainy day, it’s the feeling of killing it at work. Happiness means different things to all of us. Happiness is also something we often overcomplicate.
The key to happiness is in the things we do every day. It’s not some magical land only attainable to few of us. It’s our daily habits which can either make us miserable or fill our life with more joy, more laughs, love, and gratitude. Happiness is something you create, not something that comes in those fleeting moments that are few and far between.
7 SMALL HABITS THAT STEAL YOUR HAPPINESS
HOLDING ON TO TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS
Walking away from a relationship is almost never easy. It’s even more difficult when you care a lot about the other person, but their actions hurt you and they, on the other hand, don’t seem to care at all. Any and all relationships should be a two-way thing. If all you do is give, and receive nothing in return, other than hurt, emotional dumping, pain, and frustration, it’s time to move on. As difficult and heartbreaking as this can be at times, it can also be one of the best things you will do for yourself.
Re-evaluate your relationships and do not be afraid to edit your life relentlessly. Happiness is being able to share things like your small victories, with someone you love, someone who gets just as excited about those things as you do- so choose wisely.
TAKING EVERYTHING PERSONALLY
Not everything is about you and not everyone has to like you. Just because someone gave you a bit of an attitude at a grocery store doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. Maybe the sole reason why people sometimes tend to be rude or short with you, is just because they’re having a crappy day? And if someone does make you feel like you did or said something wrong? Well, don’t overthink that shit; don’t allow other people dictate how you feel. A lesson I had to learn the hard way, but it’s the truth. You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s totally fine.
FOCUSING ON THINGS YOU DON’T WANT
Are the things you talk about aligning with your goals and dreams? For some strange reason, we tend to talk about things we don’t want, more than we talk about things we do want. Pay attention to what you say. Talk more about the things you love, the things you want, the things you find beautiful, wholesome or inspiring.
Don’t fall into the trap of constantly discussing everything that’s negative around us. Don’t talk about things you don’t want to happen to you.
PUTTING YOURSELF DOWN
Ahh, yes. I once wrote that if my life had a theme song, the title would most likely be “not good enough.” Learn to guard your speech– this includes your inner monologues. If you had a bad day, didn’t get something done on time, learn to forgive yourself. Do not put yourself down for every little thing that doesn’t go your way. If at the end of the day you did at least one small thing, took one small step that will bring you closer to your goals, you’re closer to achieving them.
Putting things off until the “perfect moment” is a load of crap. You know why?
Because no such moment exists.
I know people who spend their entire lives waiting to start living. Year after year, goals and dreams are unmet and that’s exactly what they remain: just dreams. If there’s something you’ve always wanted to try or do, go out and do it. If it requires funds you don’t have, read everything you can about it first. Take small steps, but don’t stand still.
Don’t let another year pass where, yet again, you realize time went by and you didn’t get to do any of the things you wanted to try.
Don’t have “zero” days. If today, you can only allow yourself or afford to take just one small single step, one small action that will move you forward, you’re one step closer than you were the day before.
ALLOWING FEAR TO TAKE OVER
This is one of those things that we talked about when discussing learning to flow with life. We hold on to worries, past failures, we fear change- all those things are a part of life and sometimes, they don’t come without pain or feelings of discomfort.
Don’t put your energy into things that feed your fear or worry. Learn to accept challenges for what they are, instead of reacting with anger and fear. Learn to flow and stop resisting. Yes, sometimes things “happen to you” and you might find yourself asking “why me?” Well, you’re not the only one whom “things” happen to from time to time. These challenges help you grow and learn; they help you see just how strong you are. Don’t let fear and needless worry take over; know that you’re much stronger and braver than you give yourself credit for.
You cannot continue to write your own story when you’re constantly busy following someone else’s. Whenever you compare yourself to others, you’re failing to be fair to yourself. You look past your own achievements and even if you think that some things in your life are “okay,” you’re guessing that someone else’s must be better.
How do we know that?
We guess. We often don’t see the whole picture, so we fill in those blanks ourselves.
So, we assume.
Here’s something to remember: comparisons add no value to your life. Instead, try practicing appreciation. I know that it’s not always easy, but when you see someone doing something you’ve always dreamed of, or achieving goals similar to yours, think of it as a proof. Proof, that it can be done. Let that inspire you instead of feeling discouraged.
Don’t listen when the world tells you that you’re “too old” to try something new, or that it’s “too late” for you to do something incredible with your life or even make a small change. Regardless of where you find yourself at the moment, remember that there are still so many beautiful moments ahead. There are places to visit, people to meet, passions to discover, books to read, skills to develop. Pay attention to those small habits that steal your happiness and do more things you love.
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